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Can't Read All Of The Way Through

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Intrepid

MyPTSD Pro
Someone just apologized for posting a long post. I apologize that I couldn't read it all of the way through. It's not because of the contents, or who the person is. I want to read it all. That post was intense, in a good way. I scanned it and wanted to read it, but as I said, I couldn't.

Does any one else get a sense as you are reading things here and post about other people's life that you are getting too close, getting to know too much, and are really unwanted? I love reading people's posts, and commenting on them, and I know that people here relate to me as much as I relate to them. But I get really weighed down by the sense that the next post is going to be a personal attack against what I say, or worse, who I am. It hasn't happened yet after many many posts, and I think if someone did personally attack me I would be able to work through it. Still, it's like I'm having to fight down this anxiety every time I send a post. It takes for ever to write one, because I try to get it perfect. (I'm not double checking what I'm writing on this thread, and hope it doesn't come out as jibberish)
 
I used to worry about what I wrote in reply, like you say trying to get it perfect, I would type, delete, type, delete. Now I just write what I want to write, quite often not even reading back over it and quickly hit the post reply button.
There have been times when I have written a reply to try and help someone and then the next person writes a reply with a much better response and I think my reply was dumb. But I am me, and I think how I think and if it is different to how other people think then so be it.
Please don't be afraid to post :)
 
and are really unwanted?
Not that, because I figure anyone who posts something here wants it to be read, at least until the second after they hit "Post".

As for the rest of what you said. I can relate to the fears. My T tells me (fairly often, so he must be serious) that he would like me to have as a goal being more who I really am, more of the time. Among the roadblocks to doing that is the fear of being rejected. I look at this as a place to learn, but also as a place to practice saying what I think and being who I am. I think I'm less likely to be misunderstood or rejected here than in many places. (Start with something relatively easy!) Worse comes to worse, almost no one here has any idea who I really am, I can disappear and pretend it never happened. (Knowing that also makes it easier.) AND, I need to get better at dealing with things like disagreements too, so I think this is a fairly safe place to do that.

@Intrepid, I think what you're experiencing is part of the process and the fact that you're persisting in spite of it is good.
 
Some posts on here can be really triggering and sometimes don't read them or "skim" them for that reason. I also overthink a lot and don't write what I'd really like to say in case I'm judged or misunderstood. A lot of people here probably feel the same but I think we are all here to support each other as much as we are here to receive support ourselves.
 
I don't feel that way, but I can understand how it would happen because I tend not to post very much due to concern over people not wanting to know or not wanting to read what I write. I personally don't worry as much about being attacked, rather I worry I don't have anything useful to say or that people will find me stupid or pathetic.

Being able to post here with more confidence, not be a perfectionist, and forgive myself for posts that aren't well executed are all things I'm working on.

I've also had a bit of success in deciding to write a post, post it, and then give myself one re-read to edit it once it's already up for grammatical things. Otherwise I worry about it too much.
 
Yes, yes & yes! Whenever I post I NEVER reread before hitting "post" because I'll be too "embarrassed" and will chicken out. And then, once posting, it takes me a looooong time to summon up the courage to check the replies. Even though I e only gotten positive and caring feedback

I totally get it :)
 
One of the best things about this forum, is empathy like yours. Feel good, to take a break, or to read less. In that way, you can rely on someone else in this community to read what you don't read. Too avoid feeling burdened, triggered, or too close-from the details, I stop reading if the posts get too intense.

Regarding intense threads, it really helps me if people make sure to break up their information into paragraphs; this makes it less overwhelming to read, and I find that I can my place, easier, if I come back to the thread. Anthony's grammar and style requests, help in this regard.

Sometimes I will be brief, or I will take the time to compose something longer-for my own interest in writing, or to convey care, to whom I am responding.

Your questions helped me know that I am not alone, in my feelings. I'd like to help more. And I have come to appreciate my, and others' limitations. Always, I have felt very grateful for the shortest and longest responses.
 
Do what I do.....Don't go back to those threads where you reply something that isn't all coddly-cuddly. Honestly, much of the time, this is what I do.... My alerts at the top of the screen aren't that far away from 1,000.... Actually, I do this repeatedly, that is, I don't reset my alert count until it hits 1,000 or more. I never check them, so if by chance I respond to someone who called me out with "@" its because I stumbled back upon the thread and not because I checked my alerts. I just think "ok, I put it out there, and I don't care if you argue with me about it, so if you call me out with "@" to argue or disagree with my opinion, the disagreement stops there. I know at least one person has been surprised that I don't check my alerts, and actually you can turn them off so you don't see them at all (or at least you used to be able to do this). There is no law that says I have to check my alerts... I guess my attitude is ok I put out my opinion, and its not up for debate, at least not with me. I didn't put it out there for debate, so if others want to argue about it without me present, all the more power to them.
 
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