I have complex PTSD because I watched my father physically and emotionally abuse my mother, I spent all of my childhood listening to unpredictable loud and violent fights break out, and because my mother did some minor physical abuse towards me and emotionally abused me (including blaming me for her suicide attempt). The physical abuse towards me stopped when I was in my teens and the abuse between my parents is only verbal now. My relationship with my father has improved a little bit. My parents have been through trauma in their lives too and, I'm not forgiving their behavior, but I understand that they went through a lot of stress when they were raising us. And my mom did provide a lot of love towards me and my siblings when we were growing up too. My dad is trying harder at being a father now and overall I feel like we all love each other.
However, I was just diagnosed with complex PTSD a couple months ago. I believe I have had this condition since my teenage years, but it didn't hit full force until I moved out of our house and was no longer in survival mode and just crashed. My avoidant and protective behaviors and my depression have slowly worsened. PTSD has impacted my daily life since I was 19, but now it is more obvious to outsiders. It is such a huge part of my life that I now feel guilty that my parents don't know about it. I visit my parents at home, but if we were ever to go out in public together, they would notice or get upset with me for 'not acting normal'.
I don't know if I should just let this guilt go or brave telling my parents. They were the ones who caused my PTSD and I don't even know what it must feel like for a parent to be told that they gave their a child a serious mental illness. My mom is also very sensitive and tends to make things about her and then send toxic messages via email and family group chat about how she gave up everything for her children and we're ungrateful.
Thoughts?
However, I was just diagnosed with complex PTSD a couple months ago. I believe I have had this condition since my teenage years, but it didn't hit full force until I moved out of our house and was no longer in survival mode and just crashed. My avoidant and protective behaviors and my depression have slowly worsened. PTSD has impacted my daily life since I was 19, but now it is more obvious to outsiders. It is such a huge part of my life that I now feel guilty that my parents don't know about it. I visit my parents at home, but if we were ever to go out in public together, they would notice or get upset with me for 'not acting normal'.
I don't know if I should just let this guilt go or brave telling my parents. They were the ones who caused my PTSD and I don't even know what it must feel like for a parent to be told that they gave their a child a serious mental illness. My mom is also very sensitive and tends to make things about her and then send toxic messages via email and family group chat about how she gave up everything for her children and we're ungrateful.
Thoughts?