Car Accident Has Left Me Feeling Helpless

[btmsearlNH]

Hi, I am new to this site. I've been told by my doctors and physical therapist that I should probably seek some counseling, but I am a little bit afraid to go. I was in a bad car accident back on 6/12/08. I was out shopping with my son and was driving home. I was about 4 miles from my house going about 55mph when another vehicle ran though a stop sign and went across both lanes into my vehicle. My SUV was knocked on it's side and skid across the road and then flipped 4-5 times before we landed on the roof. Thank God I was wearing my seatbelt and had my 3 year old son in his car seat. He had nothing wrong with him, not one single scratch. I didn't know anything was wrong with me until I was getting out. I unbuckled myself and crawled back to get my son out. That's when I realized I was bleeding from the back of my head. The right side of my head went through the drivers side window, causing a very bad whiplash injury to my neck and a very bad laceration to my head. I also had a concussion, but didn't feel the effects until days later. Now, two months later, I still have constant headaches and dizziness. I saw a neurologist yesterday and told her I was feeling a little better and I don't think I need counseling. But, when I started to talk about the details of the crash, I began to cry. She said it would be beneficial to seek out help. I constantly look at pictures of my vehicle and pictures of my injuries. I am always looking in the mirror at the back of my head and the scars I now have. I am always wondering about what people walking behind me may think about it. I hate feeling this way. I don't know what to do. I get so easily angered and I cry over things that are really nothing. I have never felt like this in my entire life and it's starting to make me unpleasant to be around and I don't want that to be how I am around my wife or my son. I don't know where to turn or who to ask for help. I thought maybe someone on here had a similar experience and could give me some advice. The post-concussion syndrome I have can take anywhere from 3 months to a year to go away. I don't know about the emotional part though. I am worried that if I don't see someone, I won't be normal again. So thanks for taking the time to read this. I appreciate any help you could give me.

 

[greenscousegal]

:hello:Welcome to the forum. Seems to me that you have had what I call the double whammy MVA. Not just the body injuries but the hurt to your spirit as
well especially as you say that your boy was with you. it is like you went a round or ten with a boxer in the ring and you have not yet recovered.
Well, this is OK: why? because being hit in a SUV like you has jarred every inch of your body and soul. Makes you feel so upset. This is necessary to help you get through the ordeal. You are allowed to feel bad, miserable in pain.
You are actually taking steps by coming to the forum and looking out to repair
yourself.
Read the most helpful information here AND meet people that understand you.
:Hug_emoticon: gsg!

 

[Rivergirl]

Hi there.....

It's funny that when we have physical trauma, we don't judge ourselves for seeking help. We go to a doctor, go to a neurologist, have x-rays, get stitched up, get casts put on----none of this makes us feel ashamed or like we shouldn't be doing it.

But when we have emotional trauma, we start thinking that we shouldn't feel this way, shouldn't need help, judge ourselves for needing help, feel embarrassed about seeking help, and even try to cover up the feelings of trauma.

Imagine having a broken leg and saying "oh no, I don't really need help", or telling yourself that it shouldn't hurt, or telling people that it really doesn't hurt and there's nothing wrong. But we do that with our emotions! :wall:

Having been in several bad car accidents over the years (and a couple of rollovers) I can relate to how it shakes you up emotionally. Especially, in your case, when your son was also a passenger! I found myself having trouble driving, looking at the oncoming cars and noticing how extremely close the traffic came to each other, and at home when things were quiet I could remember vividly the sound and force of the crash and the feeling of unrealness and time-warp as the car rolled. Being a parent can only compound this, I imagine.

When the world suddenly shatters and you're left to pick up the pieces, don't try and tough your way through it. This is an emotional injury, the same as your physical injuries. It often helps to talk to someone---especially someone you don't know, who is trained to help you through it. Just like seeing a doctor for a broken leg, seeing a counsellor for emotional trauma is no shame. This was something that happened to you, not something you're making up or are creating yourself. In my experience the effects of trauma don't go away by themselves----they get worse, or change into something else (like an unhealthy coping mechanism, like drinking, etc), and pop up unexpectedly later.

Talk to us here on this website, and see someone in person if you can. If you don't like it, you can stop. But just try it out and see.

(Anyway that's my two cents!) :Hug_emoticon:
Rivergirl

 

[Vapor]

Hi there.

I totally know how you feel.

Despite what I went through growing up, i was always a strong person and posative.

3 weeks before my 17th birthday (im 25 now) I lost my friend of 6 years (whome id grwn up with and also dated) in a car accident.

I wasnt driving .. he was. 3 other boys in another car... had stolen it and been drinking... caused the accident... on a country road one night that was not lit.

I understand what you are going through.

If you need to talk, u can add me...yahoo... I will always show up as invisible though..

yahoo messenger: natalie_mcgarr

im glad your OK

I didnt go to counselling for years even though I was encouraged too by Drs and school teachers... i regret not going. It was the start of a downward spiral in my life... but I guess I wasnt ready.

so glad you are ok

take care.

 

[btmsearlNH]

Thanks

Just wanted to take the time to say thanks to all those who gave me advice on my situation. I am grateful to you all. I have been sort of lost during my ordeal and I think it's very beneficial to speak to others who have been through similar experiences. I know that I should probably talk to someone who is trained in giving people ways to overcome their fears and deal with stress. But, to deal with the specific details of my accident, it's good to talk about it with others who can give more relative advice. Thanks again and I hope to get to know you all better. I'm sure I'll have plenty more to share and I hope that I may be able to help others with their problems. I feel better knowing that what I feel is normal.