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CBT - Reliving

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LucyLou

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I'm 6 sessions in with my therapist and from session 4, she has wanted me to talk about my most powerful memory....say the actual words....which I really didn't feel like I could do. so I asked if I could write it instead, which I did and sent over to her and she read it before our session this morning....but now in the next session she has gone back to me talking about it or reading off what i wrote to her....and I just don't know if I can say these words out loud (reliving it) ....that was the point of me writing it in the first place. I feel it would be too overwhelming....she said if I really can't do it, we can do imagery work (not sure what that is) What do you think? Should I at least try talking about it? I really don't know. She's a lovely therapist, she really is....just not sure about this
 
in my own case, decades after the first breakthrough, i am grateful i pushed past the secrecy codes and learned how to say **the words**. i don't expect myself to ever enjoy telling my trauma tales, but it sure is handy that reminders no longer have the power to fling me down the proverbial rabbit hole. they still surprise and paralyze me sometimes, but i can now ply therapy tools to remain functional in the face of a reminder. reminders happen. . .

but that is me and every case is unique. . .

steadying support while you decide what is right for you.
 
Talking about what happened is the worst part of therapy, but in my experience, the more I talk about it the less afraid I am of it. When I'm able to speak about the event, I feel like it holds less power over me. Although the days following those therapy sessions are not fun, speaking about what happened gets easier for me every time I do it. The hard work and bad days have been worth it
 
Is your therapist a trauma therapist? If not I’d steer clear of forcing yourself to do something before you’re ready. I did that years ago and I’d say it traumatized me.

That being said if she is suggesting imagery work it sounds like she understands she may be moving too fast and is trying to build your skills before moving forward.

From everything I’ve read reliving your trauma is not necessary and can do more harm than good. EMDR for instance you don’t have to say it out loud at all.

Hope you find a way through it.
 
To get past trauma organically (meaning without fear of retraumatization), it should be up to YOU to decide when you are ready to have the words to speak about these things. I would be very suspect of anyone pushing you to talk about something that you are not ready to talk about. If you have a breakdown over this - suffer nightmares, flashbacks, somatics, is she going to live with you and heal you up? No.

Therapists need push back. It is your job in this relationship. To learn how to advocate for yourself. You are actually the driver in this relationship. Not her. You know what is best for you. Not her. P She - I think - should know better than to push you. But you, this can be a lesson. If it doesn't feel right - if your gut says no - then stand up and say - absolutely not. I am not ready and you need to hear me right now. Let's move on. Never let anyone push you into something that doesn't feel right - especially when dealing with trauma.
 
Talking about what happened is the worst part of therapy, but in my experience, the more I talk about it the less afraid I am of it. When I'm able to speak about the event, I feel like it holds less power over me. Although the days following those therapy sessions are not fun, speaking about what happened gets easier for me every time I do it. The hard work and bad days have been worth it
totally agree we are prisoners of our secrets I held on to my scariest secret for years and when I did finally talk to my therapist about it years of worry and fear melted away like a drop of water on a hot stove and wonderful freedom followed
 
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