Challenges Making Friends

I don't currently have any friends. This is not hyperbole. Several years ago, I had a couple of friends. This issue was in place prior to COVID but now COVID has shut off even the potential of making new friends, as for me in-person interaction is key so I can read energy and develop some sense of safety. I could list a large number of challenges I have that get in the way of making friendships, but I'd rather just hear from people what their challenges have been and how they have made friends anyhow, or at least how they've tried to, so keep hoping. I acknowledge there may be digital opportunities for friendship-making. I don't mean just anonymous chat, but maybe local groups that connect by Zoom or something. That said, I have avoidance issues with social connection. But I still have all the loneliness. And nowadays, don't have any opportunities to even practice and fail. Just nothing. So trying to keep a sliver of hope alive to see how others have managed.
 

TruthSeeker

MyPTSD Pro
I bought a kayak....actually two. Kayaking is a safe distancing activity, it's exercise, refreshing, and you can picnic and chat. I have figured out the local waterways, met a bunch of neighbors, and I have friends come over and we are 10 ft apart at all times. So, kayaking has improved my social life.....keeping social distance. So, if you have a friend who lives on the water, or you live near the beach or a park where you can meet with your kayak.....it has worked for me.

I'm also inviting friends to a virtual murder mystery 60s (birthday) party (they have all kinds of mystery themes)......so you could host a mystery/scavenger hunt each month at your house. There is also a computer app called Cardzmania, where I go to play with friends on a Friday night. If you like cards or murder mystery games, or other online games, you can research for people who have the same interests as you....and hook up online. Online social games are fun, and while I don't like zoom type communication....I do like playing games online.

@yellowbrickroad I recognize that if you don't have any friends, it is hard but it means if you really want to meet some people, you will need to get out and see people, or get on zoom and find people who are in the same boat you are in or who are bored. I'm finding the longer Covid keeps us contained, the more people are willing to try new things.
 

RussellSue

MyPTSD Pro
I'd rather just hear from people what their challenges have been and how they have made friends anyhow, or at least how they've tried to, so keep hoping.

I made friends at work, school and while volunteering. I tend to gravitate toward nonprofit jobs and volunteer work for things I have interest in such as mental health and support of families of incarcerated individuals, so people there have interests similar to mine. I used to make friends with people I had group therapy with and people from AA meetings but my therapists have typically frowned on this and I don't go typically do these groups, anymore, so I don't make friends with these people, anymore. Life has been a lot less exciting and a lot less stressful since that change took place.

I find that when people are working together for a common cause that they feel passionate about, it is easy for them to chat with those around them because they kinda figure these must be like-minded people. The friends I have made really took little effort - they talked to me first, usually. This worked out really well because in general, people scare the piss out of me and I don't engage strangers in conversation unless I am feeling very brave.
 

TruthSeeker

MyPTSD Pro
I made friends at work, school and while volunteering. I tend to gravitate toward nonprofit jobs and volunteer work for things I have interest in such as mental health and support of families of incarcerated individuals, so people there have interests similar to mine. I used to make friends with people I had group therapy with and people from AA meetings but my therapists have typically frowned on this and I don't go typically do these groups, anymore, so I don't make friends with these people, anymore. Life has been a lot less exciting and a lot less stressful since that change took place.

I find that when people are working together for a common cause that they feel passionate about, it is easy for them to chat with those around them because they kinda figure these must be like-minded people. The friends I have made really took little effort - they talked to me first, usually. This worked out really well because in general, people scare the piss out of me and I don't engage strangers in conversation unless I am feeling very brave.

I'm not a big socializer either....but being social is a life skill.....and I'd say, if you engage people online in a game, it could be fun, and it would be safe. But I agree....having f2f conversations with real people who I click with is much better.
 
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