Warrior Chicken
Sponsor
Limbic brain wins again.
I wanted to try something to break me out of isolation, to work on maybe trusting humans that “get it”. Socialize with those who’ve been there, done that, walked the path in darkness, but have found each other for support. This forum does that, but it’s wonderfully anonymous and I love that. I thought I’d try to accept that I am how I am, broken, wounded, incomplete. And that maybe it would be ok to be around other humans that see themselves the same way.
I couldn’t walk in the room. I lost my words and tried to convince myself that they’d come back if I tried hard enough, I’m weak, unwilling to be vulnerable or even moderately express myself to strangers and yet people have called me courageous? How the f*ck could they come to that conclusion?
If they knew I couldn’t even walk in a room of people that want to support, they wouldn’t call me courageous.
I am not searching for pity by writing this, I would say I’m venting my own self disgust in an effort to shame myself into trying harder. Write it out here and others will know you’re a chicken, just like you know every day. Write it out and maybe you’ll think twice about being a chicken....warrior chicken.
I just hope one day I forget I’m a chicken. But not today.
I wanted to try something to break me out of isolation, to work on maybe trusting humans that “get it”. Socialize with those who’ve been there, done that, walked the path in darkness, but have found each other for support. This forum does that, but it’s wonderfully anonymous and I love that. I thought I’d try to accept that I am how I am, broken, wounded, incomplete. And that maybe it would be ok to be around other humans that see themselves the same way.
I couldn’t walk in the room. I lost my words and tried to convince myself that they’d come back if I tried hard enough, I’m weak, unwilling to be vulnerable or even moderately express myself to strangers and yet people have called me courageous? How the f*ck could they come to that conclusion?
If they knew I couldn’t even walk in a room of people that want to support, they wouldn’t call me courageous.
I am not searching for pity by writing this, I would say I’m venting my own self disgust in an effort to shame myself into trying harder. Write it out here and others will know you’re a chicken, just like you know every day. Write it out and maybe you’ll think twice about being a chicken....warrior chicken.
I just hope one day I forget I’m a chicken. But not today.