Sufferer Childhood affects

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Hi my name is Rob i live in kent uk i had a traumatic childhood suffered sexual abuse this baby sitter and my eldest brother both male the sexual abuse went on for 8 yrs i also had an acoholic abusive father to whom i was a punch bag and my only escape was school where i was bullied so upon leaving school at 15.5 yrs old i was working and doing ok then i lost my mum at 16 left at home in the uncapable hands of my dad the drinking got worse and so did the beatings he kicked me out of the family home and i was homeless sleeping in telephone boxes. Roundabouts in the middle of a busy main road and sleeping on my mums grave 6 months of sofa surfing my dad let me back home a month or two went past and my brother an epileptic had a fit as they were called then and it was his last. I felt so confused at this point couldnt cry for him as i was glad releifed it was finally over and here i am a complete mess i have carried this for 40 yrs i have had a breakdown recently and been diagnosed with complex ptsd im having emdr and on meds. Iam having intrusive thoughts and memories day and night i am having panic attacks sleepless nights and hate leaving my house i have also 6 weeks ago reported thesexual abuse to the police who are investigating and hopefully get a conviction which i hope will help i have thought about ending my life as it feels like the only way out im still here and struggling daily


Welcome to the Forum. I'm so very sorry for your pain and suffering! Please don't give up... you are heading the right direction by reaching out for help. It's never too late to work on healing. You deserve to heal.

You will find compassion and understanding here as well as finding some who may become friends. That's my experience here.

I'm doing a terrible job of being supportive here right now. Life has dealt a hand of cards that has me a bit out of sync at the moment and words don't come easily.

This is a good place to come when you feel alone. None of us are here alone...

Blessings of hope and peace being sent your way.
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