Sufferer Childhood trauma - looking to connect

Cherie137

New Here
Hi, I`m new to this forum. I`m 25 years old, female from Scandinavia, been diagnosed with PTSD since i was a teenager, I`m here because i am feeling alone and lost in my thoughts. I`ve been having these thoughts lately that i am weak for having been so traumatized by what happened to me, and "who knows if it really was that bad" because i do have gaps in memory. But i figure i`m not the only one who has had thoughts like that, I also know that my trauma was really bad and very layered in that it was verbal, psychological, physical and sexual at times. It was prolonged over a period of years. Some of my earliest memories are of my traumas.I suppose i am struggling to validate my own experience and take myself seriously, all the while dealing with the very real symptoms and effects of my traumas. I have been going to therapy for about a decade but for the first time in my adult life i`m not seeing a therapist at the moment - which is a huge adjustment for me. So i think not having that safe space i am used to is challenging and frightening for me and i feel a bit lost, even though i can talk to those around me, there are some things i am not comfortable discussing with them. I guess i just need to vent and not feel so alone:)
 

arfie

MyPTSD Pro
hello cherie. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here but glad you are here.

you are far from alone in feeling weak and/or inferior for suffering mental illness. personally, i don't see it as that far different from suffering cancer or epilepsy. illness happens in the best of lives. having that safe place to talk can, indeed, make all the diff. hope you'll feel safe to open up here. listening. . .

welcome aboard. you are not alone.
 

Wendell_R

MyPTSD Pro
Welcome, Cherie. I have found the forum to be a very good place to learn that I am not alone, and that others experience PTSD in ways that are very similar to how I experience it. That does help.

Good luck on your healing journey.
 

Cherie137

New Here
Thank you guys! :) I really appreciate it. @arfie that is an interesting perspective on it, and i agree. I also try to remind myself that the PTSD response is literally just how the brain copes when faced with trauma, and that it is automatic. I am trying to do everything i can to heal and to help myself but struggling with being patient with myself at the same time. Logically though, of course i know this process can`t be rushed.
 
Hi @Cherie137 - I just joined today, and was looking through other similar introductions when I saw your post. I can relate to a lot of what you're experiencing (especially gaps in memory and thoughts of "who knows if it was really that bad"). You're not alone.

Also - I'm still trying to figure out the ins and outs of how myptsd forums work, but i'm looking for a safe space to talk through some of the experiences around ptsd related to childhood abuse/trauma too. So if you want to talk/chat sometime on here, reach out!
 

Cherie137

New Here
Hi, @QuirkyTofurkey! Welcome to the forum ☺️ I`m sorry to hear you can relate to that. It is a frightening feeling, to be doubting the severity of what has traumatized us. I remind myself frequently that what happened - regardless of details remembered(or not), it was "bad" enough that it changed the way my brain works and gave me PTSD. That`s the bottom line for me. All the experiences that can cause someone to develop PTSD are so different from person to person, and they are all valid.

Thank you! I haven`t been on here a whole lot so far either, but feel free to vent here. Myself and lots of others are here to listen :)
 
Top