Chronic dissociation

Givrali

MyPTSD Pro
Hi I'm new here. About 10 years ago I went to a family dinner. Derealised a lot and it never stopped since.

Since I always be used to dissociation it didn't change my daily life. I'm living like it never happened and how it feels to not be in derealisation completely fade away for me. I still get a peak of derealisation or depersonslisation but rarely.

Is it strange that it doesn't really bother me than my life never looks real to me ?
 

OliveJewel

MyPTSD Pro
Is it strange that it doesn't really bother me than my life never looks real to me ?
No, because it’s familiar to you.

That resonates with me. I’m in a place where I’m starting to give up trying to tell what’s real or not. It all feels fake except when it doesn’t 🤷
 

Sideways

Moderator
Is it strange that it doesn't really bother me than my life never looks real to me ?
I always find it slightly amusing when I get hit by derealisation episodes! It's not actually funny (almost got hit by a car at one point because Meh! It's not real!...actually it was!), but it's very surreal.

Dissociation for me is only a problem when it's interfering in my function, or contributing to distress. And it can contribute to distress fairly easily because long periods of dissociation tend to starve me of opportunities to genuinely enjoy the here and now. Life becomes fairly meaningless to me if I'm dissociated for a long period of time. And that's the reason I intervene and get back in touch with the present.
 

Givrali

MyPTSD Pro
Good feeling reality isn't important to me so. It was sad and terrifying at first but now it's just : ah it used to not feel unreal ? How real feels like ?
 

OliveJewel

MyPTSD Pro
it can contribute to distress fairly easily because long periods of dissociation tend to starve me of opportunities to genuinely enjoy the here and now. Life becomes fairly meaningless
🤯 whoa. Never thought about it that way! The connection between dissociation and apathy/depression/nihilism.

Feels similar about regression. Maybe regression really is a form of dissociation? I think that was brought up in my thread on a split mind.

How real feels like ?
Not sure. I think I’m mixing up real with joy or some other emotion.
 
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