littleoc
MyPTSD Pro
I think I'm ready to start one of these. Only took two-ish years :) Not bad.
Hopefully getting this off my chest will help me process them and eventually be okay with things. I saw something about that in the FAQs. Maybe it'll help someone else in the same way.
That would be nice. I'm not just a cautionary tale, but maybe my experiences would help someone process their own pasts.
Unfortunately I have an oddly powerful memory. My first memory was when I was 9 months old. My memory has been pretty good since then. I like to think that if I could forget the traumas, and only remember the good memories, then I would be as normal as I always wanted to be. Turns out that's the opposite of true. We are shaped so much by our experiences that we just can't exist outside of them -- even if we do lose our memories. That's even down to the time period we are in now, because none of us around today know what it's like to be a pre-historic man, exactly, nor a baby dolphin crafting his name.
But dumping memories seems like a good alternative to losing the memories. I enjoy telling people some bits, while others I can't deal with in normal day-to-day life. They need to go somewhere that doesn't belong to me.
Heads up, while I wish I could keep every entry light, disturbing stuff will probably happen occasionally. Since this is a trauma diary. Just thought I should say... If it helps you then go ahead but this is almost entirely for me, so it may get dark.
Also it might not make sense to some, and I probably won't clarify things? I have synesthesia and facial blindness. If something doesn't make sense, maybe that's why?
Hopefully getting this off my chest will help me process them and eventually be okay with things. I saw something about that in the FAQs. Maybe it'll help someone else in the same way.
That would be nice. I'm not just a cautionary tale, but maybe my experiences would help someone process their own pasts.
Unfortunately I have an oddly powerful memory. My first memory was when I was 9 months old. My memory has been pretty good since then. I like to think that if I could forget the traumas, and only remember the good memories, then I would be as normal as I always wanted to be. Turns out that's the opposite of true. We are shaped so much by our experiences that we just can't exist outside of them -- even if we do lose our memories. That's even down to the time period we are in now, because none of us around today know what it's like to be a pre-historic man, exactly, nor a baby dolphin crafting his name.
But dumping memories seems like a good alternative to losing the memories. I enjoy telling people some bits, while others I can't deal with in normal day-to-day life. They need to go somewhere that doesn't belong to me.
Heads up, while I wish I could keep every entry light, disturbing stuff will probably happen occasionally. Since this is a trauma diary. Just thought I should say... If it helps you then go ahead but this is almost entirely for me, so it may get dark.
Also it might not make sense to some, and I probably won't clarify things? I have synesthesia and facial blindness. If something doesn't make sense, maybe that's why?