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Communication during a panicked episode?

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Sooty

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Hi, this is my first post. I have suspected PTSD but not officially diagnosed, although I am on a waiting list with a mental health organisation to see a psychological therapist.

My episodes of dissociation, panic attacks, or both combined vary each week in intensity and I have no control over it meaning it's affected my time at school in different ways.
Said episodes often make me lose my ability or desire to speak depending on how intense the episode feels which makes it really hard to make it clear to people what's wrong. Because I can't always say anything, people have tried to resort to physical contact as support when I'm not talking which makes me feel worse as I'm sensitive to touch and can be very jumpy because of the trauma I experienced, which can then lead to triggering more intense flashbacks. When I can't talk, I can't make it really clear that I don't want to be touched which frustrates and upsets me. I would tell people straight up when I'm stable that I really don't like being hugged/touched in any way without somebody asking first but I'm still coming to terms that it's likely I have PTSD and I don't want to tell loads of people because 1) It's none of their business and 2) I don't want to seem like I just want attention by constantly stating I potentially have a mental illness.

I don't know what to do to communicate to people in an episode that I don't want to be touched or come across like I'm trying to reject their help, because I do appreciate that they're just trying to help.
It feels like my only option would be to wear something that literally states that I do not want to be touched; which I don't want to do because I'd obviously look a bit stupid. Plus only my mum and girlfriend are aware of my potential mental illness.
 
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It feels like my only option would be to wear something that literally states that I do not want to be touched; which I don't want to do because I'd obviously look a bit stupid.
Welcome to the forum.

What does it matter if it looks stupid?

Panic attacks are awful. Anything you can do to shorten and or minimise the amount of time spent surrounded by onlookers in distress, is just better for you all round.

I'm going to be a bit blunt here.
If your panic attacks are drawing a crowd, why is having a little flash card or something with helpful instructions on it, going to make the whole thing more of a spectacle than it already is?
 
I guess I just don't like making a big thing of it or weirding people out by not liking being touched at all.
It is a big thing for you, and that's ok, it's allowed to be.
A strong aversion of being touched by strangers isn't unusual anyway. There's alot of people who hate being touched, for many different reasons not related to a past trauma. Hypochondriacs (it's not called that anymore but I don't remember the correct word.) often experience this, for fear of catching other people's germs, is one example.

Ultimately you are the most important person in your recovery. Your health and happiness are the only really important things.
You have the right to be happy. You're also the only one with the power to get yourself there.
Once you get into therapy you'll discover that the therapist isn't going to be the one that fixes you. They'll just provide you the tools and support to help yourself.
Therapy absolutely helps, but all the actual work will be done by you, for you. One of the upsides of this is knowing at every bit of progress you make is totally your accomplishment to be proud of.
 
I think it would be a good idea to learn to be assertive when it comes to your needs.

I’m guessing that your trauma involved a violation of your boundaries so that you don’t feel like you have the right to say no, you don’t want to be touched. If this is true I’d also abstain from getting into sexual situations until you feel more comfortable asserting your boundaries.
 
When i shutdown verbally i use hand gestures like palm stop, hold it up as dont come closer keep your distance, then i would wave stop palm sign.

I feel bad to cuz those around want to help and comfort me...and i am telling them back the fk up stay away.

Hand gestures works and had saved me from hitting people coming to close.
 
I usually just scramble away from people, but on the rare chance that I am feeling like I can communicate at all, I second the "stop" hand signal!
 
I know this is an older post, but I wanted to reply with my experience in case it could help ?
When I get really bad flashbacks/panic attacks, I cannot speak either. Obviously the people around you must know that something is up, so I think it's only fair to you and to them that you tell them what you need.
What has worked for me is if I cannot speak, I will text the person. Even if they are right next to me. This works well for people whom I am not very close with.
With people who I am close with, I have literally emailed them a brief list of things to do and not to do when I have a flashback. Like I stated before, people want to help you and don't like feeling helpless. The people that care about you certainly do not want to make things worse.
If you are frequently around people that you aren't comfortable texting/giving a list, I would literally carry a note with me saying please do not touch me. You have a right to have your boundaries respected.
All the best ?
 
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