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General Communication With Sufferer

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Hi Adam,
Me again. I think you're right. I have decided to write a very brief card stating how I care and will always be around for him. It's something that will just be there if/when i mess up again or if he needs to know that someone really cares for him. I decided to send some peaceful music- I know he would like that. And hopefully that will set the tone for when I go home.
Thank you thak you.
 
Hello nyc, is it possible to ask him what he needs? and if possible calmly explain to him that you dont know, you dont know how to be in the situation? You dont want to provoke him obvioulsy but if you are just honest you might be lucky and find he does know what he wants from you. He may be able to help you understand him. Telling him you are there for him is a very good idea. He's a lucky chap to have you. :wink:
 
You are so right Claire....It is hard for us to really understand and know what they would want ! I have asked my bf on several occasions, especially when I first started seeing him.
 
Yes, asking is a very good idea, thank you Claire. We are not mind readers! I do want to caution however; too many questions can become overwhelming as well, at least in Evie's case I have found this to be so. Once again it boils down to judging their mood at the time, and not bombarding them with too much of anything - talking, questions, love, etc - they are easily overwhelmed especially when ill, so moderation in all things is important.
 
Thanks guys. I'll do that. I'll ask gently what it is he needs from me.

I don't know what I'm doing- it's true- i'm not a mind reader or a shrink.

For the most part I'll listen and try to be patient.

He has said that he doesn't feel like avoiding me right now- which sounds awful- but it is a pretty good sign at the moment.
 
be with

Hi I am new here and a PTSD sufferer.
I think the greates you can offer to him is "to be with" and not judge yourself for the outcome. Be there to listen, you don't have to do it right, but be commited.
Also want to encourage your self care, even your sufferer has trouble with it. In the end it will help him also.
 
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