Compliment-based-therapy doesn't work for me... now what?


Stating "you are amazing" is a compliment. It may also be compassion in some cases.
It also might be someone's honest opinion. Just saying.....
I understand not wanting to be told you are amazing when that’s not how you feel. That can be invalidating.
I'm glad you said that because I never really thought of it before. And yet, maybe it should have been glaringly obvious. I've never likely compliments and I'm thinking this is a big part of the reason.

Nothing useful to add @Justmehere. Sorry! I wonder how "normal" people feel about compliments in general and the ones that come off as patronizing in particular? I wonder how the T would handle it if you came back with "Do you really MEAN that?" I kind of suspect that "compliments" are likely to be related to core belief type things. That might tie into "How to manage a pandemic combined with everything else" but it also might be a bigger, more complicated topic. (Still might be worth exploring though.)


I told my T about 6 months after we started meeting that I needed him to stop giving me compliments. That they made me uncomfortable and that when he did it caused me to disassociate and if there was any time left in the session it was pointless because I had no recollection of what he or I said. He understood and while now a couple of years later they have seemed to work themselves back into our sessions in a much dialed back manner and I am getting better at accepting and dealing with compliments my advice would be just to tell you T to stop giving them. It has nothing to do with cognitive distortions or the use of CBT and everything to do with their ability to respect your boundaries.