Confused About Abuse

[Real]

Hi All,
This is a difficult thread to post but here goes. Last year when I began to meltdown and the ptsd symptoms really controlled me, I seem to have dissociated and have "flashbacks" while with a friend who is walking through this mess with me. He has lots of experience helping people through painful times. Based on what he observed, much of which I don't even remember, he is convinced that I was sexually abused. Since I have few memories of my childhood, I can't say that I was or wasn't. It's all very confusing to me. I do have flashes of memory of being really terrified and confused, but nothing is clear.
I was wondering if anyone has any input.
Thanks
Real

 

[dust]

Hi Real,

My advice is to work through this with a therapist and in your own time, you shouldn't push yourself too hard. Like you, I had a PTSD meltdown followed by ongoing flashbacks that only now are beginning to create a narrative/picture of my life as a child. I think it is best not to second guess what the abuse was, and let the flashbacks lead, soon enough you will see a pattern emerge. I found EMDR good to begin with; it helped me to retrieve repressed memories. I have been told since then that the return of repressed memories is quite common.

Best,

dust