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Confused....Is It My Therapist Or Me?

Discussion in 'Treatment & Therapy' started by Moey, Nov 26, 2007.

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  1. Moey

    Moey New Member

    I have recently entered exposure theraphy for my 2 car accidents. The insurance company has given me 10 sessions which have to be used up by the end of December to work through them.

    When I first went to the therapist. He had me fill out a questionnaire. There were a number of questions on sex which I declined to fill out as I felt it has nothing to do with the car acccidents and I didn't feel comfortable talking to him about that subject.

    He was quite upset and said I wasn't committed to theraphy because I didn't answer the questions. He also commented that he had the "secret" as how to get people better and that alot of therapists didn't understand what it was, but he knew the answer.

    I have had a couple of sessions since. This last session he said I was missing out on alot of things in life. He said that sex was one of them. He said that most people find it a very important part of life and didn't I feel that way. I said I didn't want to talk about it and he said "but some people like sex better than chocolate" and it was that important to talk about.

    I changed subjects. In the end of the session he asked me if I had enough people hugging me. He said I need hugs to get through this and wanted to know who I had in my life that hugs me. He seemed stuck on the subject.

    I am very uncomfortable with some of the things he says. Is it just me, or is this normal for a theraphy session?

    I don't know that the insurance company would be happy about these discussions and I have to pay the 150.00 for the 10 sessions and then get reimbursed at the end.

    It is too late to find someone else and I can't seem to get him to focus on the accidents.

    Am I being too sensitive?

    Any advice or comments would be very much appreciated!

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  3. Seeking_Nirvana

    Seeking_Nirvana I'm a VIP

    Hi Moey,
    I think something is wrong with him. He doesn't have a secret to make you or anyone better, because if he did he would publish it and become a millionaire. I would ask him what the secret is.

    I don't think the car accident has anything to do with you not wanting to talk about sex. Tell him, you two have to set some boundaries, and discussing sex is one of them. You only talk about it if you want to, and if he doesn't agree to this I would ask for another doctor. People should talk about what they want when they are ready. IMHO

    VDWngr1355 likes this.
  4. She Cat

    She Cat Policy Enforcement Banned Premium Member Sponsor $100+

    I too would be looking for a new therapist. What in the hell does sex have to do with a car accident?????

    I think he has a problem, and I would report him....
    VDWngr1355 likes this.
  5. batgirl

    batgirl I'm a VIP

    That sounds really odd and totally inappropriate. You are not being sensitive at all. You are being treated for car accidents, sex shouldn't factor into it at all. He has no right to ask you those questions. Honestly, even if you were being treated for sexual abuse or rape, he should still respect your right to not answer questions you feel uncomfortable with. If he was a good therapist he would wait until you felt comfortable. I think you should look for a new therapist.
    VDWngr1355 likes this.
  6. nathan

    nathan Active Member

    i also agree. this sounds very suspicious. sounds like maybe he has an addiction himself if thats what hes obsessing on. he should not be trying to push you out of your comfort zone either. i have learned the hard way that doctors and therapists are not gods and not the end all be all pinnacle of human existance. they are like anyone else. some of them are great, but some of them are just as messed up as anyone else. trust your instincts. if you think youve found someone you cant trust or who makes you feel uncomfortable you need to move on. im actually having to do the same thing with my psychiatrist on monday, and i ,at first, questioned myself just as you have. also, anyone claiming to have he secret answer that everyones been looking for, usually have nothing real to offer and should be avoided. i hope this all works out for you. stay strong.

  7. Lisa

    Lisa Well-Known Member

    This professional sounds dangerous. How is sex related to car accidents? And what right does he have to push you on a personal subject when you've made it clear that you didn't want to talk about that topic, twice? How is that helping you deal with the car crashes? I agree with the others, get a different therapist.
  8. morgan

    morgan Well-Known Member

    Just want to put in my two cents. This sounds dangerously close to harassment and you seem to feel violated. That's just adding to your PTSD. Get away from that guy for real. You sure as hell don't need his hugs! That's what I think anyway.
  9. grace5555

    grace5555 Well-Known Member

    Please get away...

    From personal experience, it sounds like you are headed toward possible revictimization. Please, please, please do not go back to this guy...

  10. stephanie44

    stephanie44 Active Member

    This does not sound good. You should not have to talk about sex unless you want to and unless he asked if you wanted a hug and you were okay with it, then I see that as a red flag. I am a female who gives my female T a quick hug goodbye at the end of a session but I don't think I would do that with a male therapist because for me, that would feel uncomfortable. I am a survivor and did not start talking about sex until I brought the subject up in therapy.
    HollyBeans27 and Chincho like this.
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