I am experiencing intense feelings in therapy lately so I am trying to understand and learn more.
I have been conscious often to dismiss/ignore/avoid/close my eyes and pretend sort of others' feelings in situations that are not about feelings like work, places, etc. I have been super concious of this side of me but never challenged why. I just thought I do not want to get mixed up with others and be unable to detach or untangle or to be FREE (free with capitals cause this is my ultimate dream state...you can imagine my childhood is opposite of that (-;). In short I swung too far to the opposite but yet in my personal relationships, friendships or close relationships I am often aware of others' feelings/state of mind or their inner states and often gently ignore but sometimes I may comment and if it is too deep, this causes a bit of embarrassment in others or may trigger shame or sometimes other protective so because of this, I am often (prefer) to be aloof....
Other times, I get close to people very deep and very close in short time... for example, I fell in love in 2 days with my husband....so there is a good and bad but to avoid all things, I more or less became more dismissive/avoidant type to be on the safe side but never explored more.
Over the weekend, I was sitting with a friend who has bipolar and was experiencing symptoms of it and all of sudden my whole body was reactive to her. I was feeling so unsettled and so unlike me and confused, confabulated and utterly all over. I am aware of my empathy level as far as feelings go but so much bodily as I have been lately. As I listened to her I was all over....I could not explain....and this friend is experiencing really hard time right now...I have not seen her for 4 or 5 months. She has been in the hospital few times in the past 6 or 7 months.
I guess what I am trying to learn from others who have better knowledge and articulation is this: how does emapth and cptds related? when I google emapth (which I never called myself and not starting today...) I am also finding a lot of information about narcissism which surprises me.
I am not sure all the connections and the relations of all of this. Hope anyone who has the gumption and understanding of all these things can help. My main search is how is empath is related to childhood traumatic events. My feeling is I must have closed this part of me and now like a baby I am learning and it is overwhelming but yet I am conscious of it and trying to put the lid back on.
No longer sure what I want. Thank you for reading and becoming as confused as me!
ps. sorry if this is in the wrong section.
I have been conscious often to dismiss/ignore/avoid/close my eyes and pretend sort of others' feelings in situations that are not about feelings like work, places, etc. I have been super concious of this side of me but never challenged why. I just thought I do not want to get mixed up with others and be unable to detach or untangle or to be FREE (free with capitals cause this is my ultimate dream state...you can imagine my childhood is opposite of that (-;). In short I swung too far to the opposite but yet in my personal relationships, friendships or close relationships I am often aware of others' feelings/state of mind or their inner states and often gently ignore but sometimes I may comment and if it is too deep, this causes a bit of embarrassment in others or may trigger shame or sometimes other protective so because of this, I am often (prefer) to be aloof....
Other times, I get close to people very deep and very close in short time... for example, I fell in love in 2 days with my husband....so there is a good and bad but to avoid all things, I more or less became more dismissive/avoidant type to be on the safe side but never explored more.
Over the weekend, I was sitting with a friend who has bipolar and was experiencing symptoms of it and all of sudden my whole body was reactive to her. I was feeling so unsettled and so unlike me and confused, confabulated and utterly all over. I am aware of my empathy level as far as feelings go but so much bodily as I have been lately. As I listened to her I was all over....I could not explain....and this friend is experiencing really hard time right now...I have not seen her for 4 or 5 months. She has been in the hospital few times in the past 6 or 7 months.
I guess what I am trying to learn from others who have better knowledge and articulation is this: how does emapth and cptds related? when I google emapth (which I never called myself and not starting today...) I am also finding a lot of information about narcissism which surprises me.
I am not sure all the connections and the relations of all of this. Hope anyone who has the gumption and understanding of all these things can help. My main search is how is empath is related to childhood traumatic events. My feeling is I must have closed this part of me and now like a baby I am learning and it is overwhelming but yet I am conscious of it and trying to put the lid back on.
No longer sure what I want. Thank you for reading and becoming as confused as me!
ps. sorry if this is in the wrong section.