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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Sideways" data-source="post: 1711422" data-attributes="member: 32694">Yeah, I've been trying to follow the goings on between your couple of different threads.  It's particularly complicated with sisters that we grew up close to, and throw in childhood abuse and different mental health issues as an adult, it goes pear-shaped pretty fast.My sister's mental health issues play out very differently to mine (and always have).  She went through a violent period (like, me sleeping with glass bottles against the bedroom door so she couldn't come in and attack me at night), but that's mostly settled now to verbal explosions.  And those?  Have settled since I addressed it with her last year (she has some motivation to address issues between us now that we're living together, and she wants it to stay that way).Maybe have a break, then work through that post again sometime.  Because there's a whole lot of "I feel" statements in your post about your pain.That's the part you can address.  With 2 kids and no history of engaging in therapy?  She's unlikely to really engage jn counselling with you now, right?  My sister is big on feeling in control when she's distressed, and I'm big on fleeing when distressed.  But, I can't really force her to want to change herself - I can only really work on me.Me and my sister's relationship involves a shittonne of radical acceptance about where we both are, and accepting its not how either of us would hope for, but it's better than it was.Your sister is damaged.  So are you.  If you get to a point where you can handle her damage, because you've resolved your own?  That would be brilliant.  That's probably the goal I'd head for in your shoes, just FWIW.</blockquote>

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