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Corona and anxiety exhaustion

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JaceM

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I'm really sorry for making so many posts, I don't really have anywhere else to vent to since I'm really bothersome. But when the corona began I wasn't really worried about it but I had intrusive/anxious thoughts related to religion since I had just come out of being a "Truth seeker" Basically I was in a religious cult type group and before that I was transgender ftm and taking testosterone and antidepressant/antipsychotic medication and these people told me to stop during that time they told me about how humans are put into the food as well as fetuses, and said that I should stop taking all of my medication even my asthma medication, I wasn't eating and hardly sleeping I was so sick and then I heard about a girl named Jessica who I dated before but was really toxic I heard that she passed away during that time I also had nightmares about Jessica and about another friend that I lost to religion and we stopped being friends I completely had a breakdown then this corona stuff happened we are poor and don't have much food on top of that my mother is very sick and can hardly get out of bed and it seems to be getting worse I keep thinking that they may eat my dogs, that my dad will go crazy, that my mother might die, and thoughts surrounding past trauma I've had. I've tried to drink tea to relax to not think about my past and the situations going on now but it doesn't matter because I end up having some sort of episode or panic attacks I'm so exhausted and slightly in pain I just started sneaking alcohol again it all makes me feel like there is no future for me and people are just the worst of monsters to just hurt someone and not even care it's all too much I will never be able to get my old life back and I'm so angry.
 
Hey @JaceM - that's a lot of stuff going on there. I'm not going to list it all but actually you've got so many issues that are not related to Corona.

Just a few tips. You must eat & sleep properly.

Self-medicating with alcohol isn't going to help at all. So stop.

Think about your anxieties - let them come, let them leave. The more you try to ban a thought - the more it will dominate. Allow yourself time to consider what you are worried about.

Start a journal - either here on this site or perhaps in a book at home. Write out all of your worries. See if that begins to take the sting out of them. Often it will. It's worth a go?
 
Hey Jace,
It's good you're reaching out, not at all bothersome :)

People don't put people into food.
The cult said that just to scare you.

Foods are completely safe, the most they can do give you is food poisoning or other issues depending your health & the quality of food...

But there is no people or babies in them. Promise.

I understand being super stressed about death right now.

But sleep and eating right, as @blackemerald1 said, is super important. If things you fear should become real, you will need every ounce of energy you can get to deal with them, and if not going to happen, you need to be healthy while not worrying about them happening ;)

The bottle doesn't help anything...
Spend the money you would on booze on food, rather. Food will help you more. :)

Are you in any contact with the psychiatrist that prescribed those meds, and the endocrino / hormone doc that dealt with your transition?

As that is a lot of heavy stress to drop both hormones and psych pills like a hot potato, & wouldn't be surprised if it takes your body years to bounce from that alone, properly.

Not even starting on all the trauma that followed when you were with the cult.

People aren't monsters, on average.
Some are just hurtful pricks, and I am sorry to hear you've been hurt with what sounds like no sense of justice back.

But -these- people aren't ALL people.

Don't let them stop you from seeing everything that is, or could be, amazing about the rest of the world.

They don't get to do that.

Hope you can stay safe and get weller ;)
 
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