COVID Isolation < PTSD Isolation

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I'm doing a lot better with this whole pandemic isolation thing than most people in my life and I just realized: I've been feeling isolated for YEARS! I've gotten accustomed to it and I anticipate it'll continue for the rest of my life. No wonder I'm not phased by the isolation from the pandemic: it's temporary! And even after it's lifted there will continue to be a select few people in my life who I can even tell I was stalked by a serial rapist who raped 2 of my friends, then convinced them they'd "seduced" him (nevermind the part where they were unconscious) without the other person completely shutting down on me.

With this realization I feel resilient, but I also need to keep myself from replying to others' complaints about isolation with, "at least it's temporary for you." ?


I can relate. In that I was already isolating before the so-called "pandemic.

I have ENORMOUS trust issues so letting people in my life is extremely difficult.

I actually have come to appreciate the quiet and solitude that this inclination brings. I have developed a rich creative and inner life, as coping strategies.

So, small blessings, I didn't have the huge adjustment issues that many other's have had.

I used to suffer envy, but realized that that is a futile and undermining indulgence. Now, I just look for the opportunities that are always present, in every situation, even ones that appear, at face value, to be extremely adverse.


It’s not so much trust issues with me, or not wanting people. It is just the overall isolation that resulted from moving so often, frequent changes of family groups. never being near extended family, and then launching at 18, alone in a big city. People just never happened. But I completely get the inevitability you’re feeling. It’s as if the universe is saying “see, this is how your life is supposed to be” or something, even though you know that’s not exactly true.


For me, I think it’s the opposite.

I’ve done some pretty extreme versions of isolation... but each time? When I was ready to come back to the world, the world was still there. The only problem I had to shift? Was me. Now? I have shit I need & want & am capable of getting done... but the world isn’t there for me to rejoin at my leisure. There’s no dipping my toe, or giant icy plunge. Instead? I’m at the mercy of & totally dependent on others...or up shit creek. I TRY to look at that as an opportunity to practice gracefulness. But I’m a bit bull in the china shop.
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