Athill
Confident
Hi everyone!
Happy to be here. My name's Athill, and I'm in my late 30s.
I didn't know CPTSD was a thing until a friend got me The Body Keeps Score, which I've read, and I've realized I have a lot of issues in my life that stem from having a violently abusive mentally ill mother (who had been in and out of psychiatric facilities for Dissociative Identity Disorder). My survival method has been to build a life where I compulsively detect threats to neutralize them. That is, when I'm not repressing emotions, pulling the ripcord on relationships the second they make me feel vulnerable, and isolating myself from others.
I've managed to this point, but the loss of my cat, who was 20 years old and a wonderful teacher (plus a place where I can be vulnerable), has sent me off the rails. I fear I'm having the breakdown I've thought was coming, ever since I was a young boy.
Anyway, I'm here because I need help, I need to break some cycles, and I'd like to live a different way. I am in therapy, but think an online community would help.
Hope all is well with you, friends, and that you're staying safe.
-Athill
Happy to be here. My name's Athill, and I'm in my late 30s.
I didn't know CPTSD was a thing until a friend got me The Body Keeps Score, which I've read, and I've realized I have a lot of issues in my life that stem from having a violently abusive mentally ill mother (who had been in and out of psychiatric facilities for Dissociative Identity Disorder). My survival method has been to build a life where I compulsively detect threats to neutralize them. That is, when I'm not repressing emotions, pulling the ripcord on relationships the second they make me feel vulnerable, and isolating myself from others.
I've managed to this point, but the loss of my cat, who was 20 years old and a wonderful teacher (plus a place where I can be vulnerable), has sent me off the rails. I fear I'm having the breakdown I've thought was coming, ever since I was a young boy.
Anyway, I'm here because I need help, I need to break some cycles, and I'd like to live a different way. I am in therapy, but think an online community would help.
Hope all is well with you, friends, and that you're staying safe.
-Athill