I was 5 when my family left a cult. Abused Psychologically, emotionally, physically and ssxually. Where one long episode ends another begins for about 30 years. This last year has been the roughest in a long time. It all seems to be coming up. Ive been to the hospital over this stuff 14 times this year. I have lost pretty much everything. Even though I am done with living such a crappy life, my ability to survive so much just locks me into surviving. I suppose this is a deep, honest and painful start.