Sufferer cPTSD multiple traumas, parents with personality disorders

cachectin

New Here
I am Natalie. My childhood was pretty horrific. Essentially, I experienced all the traumas one could imagine with the exception of living in a literal war zone, being sold into sex trafficking, regularly beaten, or raised in a cage. I left home as soon as I could, and then life got worse. Somehow, I managed to pull myself out of the gutter and into college where I eventually got a PhD and became a professor. I study war, disasters, and social chaos - go figure. I am very interested in trauma, professionally speaking and am considering a career change with a focus on PTSD and attachment. My own attachment style is Dismissive Avoidant, if you are into that sort of thing. I went no contact with my parents in Feb. 2021. I have no doubt they blame me for everything, as they always have, me being the scapegoat.
 

ladee

MyPTSD Pro
Welcome. I relate to the scapegoat label and everything on the planet that is wrong, well, it's my fault. Going no contact is a life saver in most all cases. Glad you picked you.

Hope you find the forum supportive and validating. I certainly have.
 

ladee

MyPTSD Pro
Yes, the guilt is hard. But when we know, really know, it's time to stop allowing others to abuse us, regardless of who they are, we are more than halfway on our healing journey.

A sure sign that you matter to yourself. I felt such a huge relief. Like I had let myself out of a cage. And I never looked back. Hope the guilt eases as you accept what a healthy choice you made. Glad you are here.
 

grief

Sponsor
welcome @cachectin. it has been my experience that many people who have dealt with trauma and ptsd in their lives do become very capable clinicians if that is the route they wish to take. you have already proven you can handle an immense workload and i have confidence you could switch specialties with little issue. it is difficult to pull ourselves out of the gutter. but it sounds like you have done it and that is a monumental achievement. i am pleased as well to hear you have ceased contact with those who have abused you for so long. they are not worth your time.
 

cachectin

New Here
welcome @cachectin. it has been my experience that many people who have dealt with trauma and ptsd in their lives do become very capable clinicians if that is the route they wish to take. you have already proven you can handle an immense workload and i have confidence you could switch specialties with little issue. it is difficult to pull ourselves out of the gutter. but it sounds like you have done it and that is a monumental achievement. i am pleased as well to hear you have ceased contact with those who have abused you for so long. they are not worth your time.
Thank you - I appreciate the support. And I agree, they are no longer worth my time and effort. I want to spend that on people who actually care for and value me as a human.

Welcome! This is a lovely forum, where I hope you find the support you need.
Thank you. I very much appreciate the positivity.
 

ruborcoraxxx

MyPTSD Pro
Welcome @cachectin . Kudos for having left the house on fire. I too, went no contact many times. It just gives you the space you needed so much. Very much understand also, the guilt of leaving them behind and daring to succeed. I hope you’ll find here the validation experiences and support you’re looking for. This place is one of the beautiful sunshine spots of the internet. Welcome :-)
 
Top