Sufferer CPTSD Seeping Through the Bandaids

Magnolia

New Here
So many traumas, so little time. (Making light of things is one of my coping mechanism) I am having a terrible time finding a trauma counselor. I need to heal. 37 years is long enough to suffer.

I had a nightmare this morning. I am still crying about it. I also told my husband of 23 years, for the very first time, about being kidnapped, tortured, and molested; and how my mother didn't believe me after my predator let me go.

My husband asked if I wanted the guy murdered. Then he called my mom a piece of shit, kissed me and left the room. I think I blind-sided him.

Not sure what to do now.
 

arfie

MyPTSD Pro
hello magnolia. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here.

i love bandage analogies for the denial approach to coping with ptsd. in my own case, those bandages were suffering the dirt and grime of neglect when i finally bowed to the necessity of a more effective approach. by then, the wounds underneath the dirty bandages were quite infected and sticking to the bandages mercilessly. too much so to allow for ripping them off in one quick rip.

before i get too lost in metaphor --AGAIN-- let me fast forward to the profound benefits i gained from building and maintaining a therapy support network, both pro and peer, to help me with the healing process. steadying support while you start building your own network.

welcome aboard. hope healing happens here.
 

Magnolia

New Here
Welcome to the forum. Sorry that you have such rock solid reasons to be here.


Tracking down a peer support forum was an excellent thing to do, fwiw.

Do you have a therapist? Getting some in-person support to help you turn your life into something that you get excited about living in?
Searching for a therapist currently. The waiting lists are long for qualified personnel. Thank you for responding.

hello magnolia. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here.

i love bandage analogies for the denial approach to coping with ptsd. in my own case, those bandages were suffering the dirt and grime of neglect when i finally bowed to the necessity of a more effective approach. by then, the wounds underneath the dirty bandages were quite infected and sticking to the bandages mercilessly. too much so to allow for ripping them off in one quick rip.

before i get too lost in metaphor --AGAIN-- let me fast forward to the profound benefits i gained from building and maintaining a therapy support network, both pro and peer, to help me with the healing process. steadying support while you start building your own network.

welcome aboard. hope healing happens here.
Yes my bandages are cracking and starting to fall off. Time to get proper treatment. My wounds just won't close on their own, which my loved ones promised if I aired them out. But I kept them covered because they were too ugly to look at.

I too get lost in metaphor, putting distance between trauma and self.
 

arfie

MyPTSD Pro
My wounds just won't close on their own

the wounds which do close on their own are the hardest to treat. badly healed wounds often need to be re-broken so that they can be reset to heal properly.

while i work to stay mindful of how easily i get lost in metaphor, i don't feel like i have but to risk it. there is not much direct, literal vocabulary available to describe the eerie realm of psychosis. give me an adequate word for ^it^, please. compassion preferred. it would be nice to have A word for it. learning new acronyms is even harder than learning new words.
 

Friday

Moderator
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