Creepy old ladies

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I’ve always felt uneasy around old women who can’t control their urge to gab your arm or get uncomfortably close. Quite frankly if an old man had done that to a girl my age (23) it would likely enrage bystanders.

So today I was checking the mail and there was this old lady that always seems to run into my wife and I, and we know her only as that odd woman that keeps calling our son a “little Dutch boy”. Needless to say I think this woman has no filter whatsoever.
She decided to comment on how I have such nice hair for a boy (don’t fkin call me boy I’m 23) and I guess she decided to grab my arm and since this wasn’t church I just gently jerked away and asked her not to touch me. Then she noticed my long hair was stuck under my jacket she tried reaching for my hair and said let me fix your hair. I thought it was basic manners to not touch people’s f*cking hair. And that’s a huge trigger for me. I only let my wife touch my hair. So I sharply told her not to touch me and had to push her hands out of the way. She cannot take a hint. after that I kept her in my peripheral vision just in case she decided to step toward me again. Unfortunately I had to stay in line to pick up a parcel otherwise I would have run out of there.

Idk. I think I composed myself very well this time. Last time some guy messed with my hair I straight up threatened the guy.

Am I the only one that’s really triggered by grabby old women?

Deleted member 541

I’m an old lady and take offense. I’m also a very touchy feely type of person, even though I have PTSD. I like to hug people and touch them as I talk or as I walk away give a rub on the shoulder.

We’re not creepy IMO. Touch is something that you can not live without. Without touch, we fail to thrive. Maybe she finds you in need of some loving touch and is just reaching out!!!!


I'm sorry that you are triggered by old ladies but keep in mind that she could be
A. Very lonely and you remind her of somebody

B. Could be senile

I personally feel very sorry for the elderly as I used to waitress and got to know several. The vast majority lived alone. It was sad how desperate they were for other people.
I’m an old lady and take offense. I’m also a very touchy feely type of person, even though I have PT...
I get that. We need to thrive. But I’m sure if you know someone is bothered, you’d have the common sense to not continue after being asked not to touch someone. I know it’s common for old ladies to be like this. And that’s why I made the reference that i didn’t know her and this wasn’t church, where I might expect this kind of touch.

Didn’t mean to cause offence.

Deleted member 37474

You recognize the trigger. Is it only old ladies or all people? Is “touch” the trigger or the person type that is doing the touch?

I have panicked and shoved my teenager daughter (who is taller than me) off of me while she was being silly and had me pinned down in a “sandwich” style hug. It was an instant flash back to being pinned down and an immediate reaction despite the fact that I love my daughter more than anything. I felt really bad and embarrassed. Told her it was due to being clausterphobic. I do seem to have some issues with touch and personal space where I don’t feel normal like the people around me. :-(. Just realizing this more in depth this week.

Tornadic Thoughts

I used to be the touchy feely type until the major scent-sitivities I experience kicked into high gear. But I finally learned to ask before entering anyone's personal bubble before I reached the "old lady" time of life. Hoping I never made it to the "creepy" status in anyone's eyes.

I now have to stop folks in their tracks if they start to go into the hug stance and let them know if they use any artificial fragrances in their daily routines, do not even get close.

But ALL ages are a hazard to me who choose to wear and/or use artificial fragrances in cologne/perfume/body sprays/scented soaps/shampoos/conditioners/laundry detergent/fabric softener/etc.

Even if they use candles/plug-ins/febreeze/air fresheners/etc. at home and haven't applied anything to their body or used scented detergents for laundry, what they use at home very much sticks to their clothes, skin, and hair and I can still smell it.

If anyone gives me anything from their home who uses those things, I have to let it air out, soak it in vinegar, wash it repeatedly in hydrogen peroxide to try to get the smell out so I can use it/wear it....most especially if it's plastic or cloth....and all that is steadily soaking into everyone's skin and respiratory systems. And we wonder why we get ill so often?

Makes for some interesting navigation of the masses, for sure. I feel your pain, just in a different way and among all ages. Apologies for rambling on.


I'm sorry that you are triggered by old ladies but keep in mind that she could be
A. Very lonely and you...

I'm going to opt for the second one.

The term "little dutch boy" (definition #2) is a derogatory slang term for "homosexual". Given the lady's behavior regarding your hair, @Notamorningperson , it sounds like something from the 1950's South. Dad's got uptown girl and coal miner in his family blood, so he was pretty horrific to be around when his filter disappeared about 15 years ago.

My condolences for that unfortunate reminder of how things used to be down here. This isn't how old ladies normally behave, etiquette was a huge thing (and still is). One big thing was "look, but don't touch unless invited."

Ol' Southern, however, is arbitrary.

Still Standing

LOL! I am, also, an old lady. No matter. If another old lady kept trying to touch me after I verbally asked her to stop would make me go nuts, too. However, I don't think the problem is strictly an old lady's problem. People of all ages get too touchy and familiar. Not all of us old gals are in your old lady's circle. I think these types of people have no sense of personal space. If you cross into mine, my head goes into chaos!!! And if one were to keep tapping or touching me, it would make me want to start screaming and run away. Most often, I am able to hide my reactions until the offender leaves. Then I am exhausted and feel like I want to melt into the floor. Even the insistent patting of a child, wanting to get my attention, is an explosion of intense emotion. The invading of my personal space by another starts the panic... and the touching fuels the fire! NOW, for you, notamorningperson, if that old lady is wearing bright red lipstick and starts to pucker up her lips....RUN! It is probably my grandmother incarnate!!!! :D
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