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Crisis point, cannot run my business. advice needed.

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Mr Man

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OK I’m newish to this, so I hope I’m posting in the right place. I have C-PTSD due to childhood abuse. It has got worse over time, and now I am under huge pressure I am making mistakes left right an center. I’m the type to soldier on and the NHS on resently diagnosed and offered treatment, after fobbing me off for years. Trouble I have right now is I have no one covering my back, as I’ve been advised to avoid my family of origin as they abused me and trigger me. I have a restraining order on one (he has Sadistic Personality disorder so he’s very violent). I was close with my father but he died a few months ago, also close with my sister – but she more a dependent than help, she very avoidant and doesn’t work.

My main problem is the more narcisstic minded can pick up I’m ill and do take advantage. Normaly I can side step that, and I run my own business so I’m normaly quiet assertive and confident. Not currently. So my trusted staff are slacking off, customers are managing to avoid payment and I currently can’t take any confrontation, and get triggered by anyone being Narcisstic (causing a bother, playing tricks and games, lieing etc..) .

If I take time out of the business I risk losing it, as my franchisor can take it off me. I almost sold it, but the buyer was breaking our confidentiality agreement, and poching customers (getting them for free rather than buying them). And most days I panic to levels I hardly ever go to. I know if I walked away, there would be no problem, but I’m a single parent father and my kids like their gadgets so I realy need to sell it or get well enough to run it. I have no one close as we moved far away due to my violent brother. My friends are 200 miles away, and they don’t understand C-PTSD or why my brother and mother were/are so scary and my sister and I are the opposite. To caop it off I’m statemented dyslexic, so I’m getting word blindness and dissociation a lot. I know if I was just a stay at home Dad, I’d be fine. Its having a business and no one able to take the reigns whilst I recover. I am trying to recruit someone, but I then won’t have an income to speek of. So any tips, help phone numbers for support. I’e just finished CBT but the NHS said because my Dad has died, thats grief and something else, but the truth is my C-PTSD has been so bad for 3 years now, I’ve not had time to process anything else. So the grief is on hold, and the irony is the NHS told me not to reconnect with my abusive family and then say at times of grief family should help. Talk about irony. Thank you in advance.
 
Something I've learned about ptsd - if you wait too long, the decision will be taken out of your hands. I suffered a complete meltdown two years ago after a lifetime of pretending I was ok. It's taken two years of intensive treatment to get me back to a place where I can attempt to go back to work.

If I may offer some advice, start treatment now, while you can still function. A good trauma therapist will ensure that you don't implode.

You have my sympathy (and empathy) regarding your family. I had to break all ties with mine before they destroyed me.

I wish you the best in your healing journey!
 
If selling your business is an option, I would certainly look into that. Your kids will be ok without 'gadgets'. Depending on thier ages, they may be able to do some kind of work, to get their own gadgets.. which would be teaching them work ethic also..

You need a serious break, before you end up having a break-down.You do get to have ME time. It's hard working, raising your family, and also trying to go no contact with your family, all at the same time. And having no time or energy to grieve your fathers passing is going to all catch up with you.

In your post, what i read was, you already have your answers, so please take care of yourself and take the action required to save your self. This is a bad place to be in.. and you know this.

I have gone no contact with my family many years ago, and seems like my healing work took such a positive turn and I really started making progress. Sending you extra strength to do what you need to do. You are supported and we hear you.
 
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