OK I’m newish to this, so I hope I’m posting in the right place. I have C-PTSD due to childhood abuse. It has got worse over time, and now I am under huge pressure I am making mistakes left right an center. I’m the type to soldier on and the NHS on resently diagnosed and offered treatment, after fobbing me off for years. Trouble I have right now is I have no one covering my back, as I’ve been advised to avoid my family of origin as they abused me and trigger me. I have a restraining order on one (he has Sadistic Personality disorder so he’s very violent). I was close with my father but he died a few months ago, also close with my sister – but she more a dependent than help, she very avoidant and doesn’t work.
My main problem is the more narcisstic minded can pick up I’m ill and do take advantage. Normaly I can side step that, and I run my own business so I’m normaly quiet assertive and confident. Not currently. So my trusted staff are slacking off, customers are managing to avoid payment and I currently can’t take any confrontation, and get triggered by anyone being Narcisstic (causing a bother, playing tricks and games, lieing etc..) .
If I take time out of the business I risk losing it, as my franchisor can take it off me. I almost sold it, but the buyer was breaking our confidentiality agreement, and poching customers (getting them for free rather than buying them). And most days I panic to levels I hardly ever go to. I know if I walked away, there would be no problem, but I’m a single parent father and my kids like their gadgets so I realy need to sell it or get well enough to run it. I have no one close as we moved far away due to my violent brother. My friends are 200 miles away, and they don’t understand C-PTSD or why my brother and mother were/are so scary and my sister and I are the opposite. To caop it off I’m statemented dyslexic, so I’m getting word blindness and dissociation a lot. I know if I was just a stay at home Dad, I’d be fine. Its having a business and no one able to take the reigns whilst I recover. I am trying to recruit someone, but I then won’t have an income to speek of. So any tips, help phone numbers for support. I’e just finished CBT but the NHS said because my Dad has died, thats grief and something else, but the truth is my C-PTSD has been so bad for 3 years now, I’ve not had time to process anything else. So the grief is on hold, and the irony is the NHS told me not to reconnect with my abusive family and then say at times of grief family should help. Talk about irony. Thank you in advance.
My main problem is the more narcisstic minded can pick up I’m ill and do take advantage. Normaly I can side step that, and I run my own business so I’m normaly quiet assertive and confident. Not currently. So my trusted staff are slacking off, customers are managing to avoid payment and I currently can’t take any confrontation, and get triggered by anyone being Narcisstic (causing a bother, playing tricks and games, lieing etc..) .
If I take time out of the business I risk losing it, as my franchisor can take it off me. I almost sold it, but the buyer was breaking our confidentiality agreement, and poching customers (getting them for free rather than buying them). And most days I panic to levels I hardly ever go to. I know if I walked away, there would be no problem, but I’m a single parent father and my kids like their gadgets so I realy need to sell it or get well enough to run it. I have no one close as we moved far away due to my violent brother. My friends are 200 miles away, and they don’t understand C-PTSD or why my brother and mother were/are so scary and my sister and I are the opposite. To caop it off I’m statemented dyslexic, so I’m getting word blindness and dissociation a lot. I know if I was just a stay at home Dad, I’d be fine. Its having a business and no one able to take the reigns whilst I recover. I am trying to recruit someone, but I then won’t have an income to speek of. So any tips, help phone numbers for support. I’e just finished CBT but the NHS said because my Dad has died, thats grief and something else, but the truth is my C-PTSD has been so bad for 3 years now, I’ve not had time to process anything else. So the grief is on hold, and the irony is the NHS told me not to reconnect with my abusive family and then say at times of grief family should help. Talk about irony. Thank you in advance.