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Cuts Ties With My Terrible Uncle Today

Thread starter #1
When I was a kid one of my uncles liked to tickle us kids, and it was a fun game except he wouldn't stop even when I begged him to. He would still hold me down where I couldn't get away until I panicked and started crying. It wasn't creepy or sexual, but it was a repeated violation of bodily autonomy for sure. It's really scary when you're small and someone much bigger than you overpowers you and won't stop doing something to your body. And of course, I was the one always blamed for getting upset and ruining the game. And no matter how many times I got upset about it, he would still do the same thing rather than stopping.

I kind of brushed it off all my life, because how could he know how damaging it was? I maintained the same distant-but-cordial-enough relationship with him as I did with the rest of my family. It's not like any of them would take it seriously. Besides, it was always drilled into me to not rock the boat, to not speak up, or you were the problem.

To this day getting ticked triggers a violent angry reaction in me. I will immediately start fighting and will hurt people if that's what it takes to make them stop. I warn all of my partners about this and make it abundantly clear that tickling is a hard limit for me.

With all the protests going on, a number of my ignorant racist family members have been showing their true colors, and I've been finding the courage to speak up against them. This uncle was one of the worst ones. He got angry and aggressive with me as well as going off and using racial slurs towards a black friend of his who was also trying to educate him. I feel like I finally saw him for who he truly was, a mean, vicious person who is uninterested in being a decent human being, and determined to hold onto his racist views at any cost.

I unfriended him on social media and have no intention of having any contact with him ever again. I felt like a weight lifted from me when I did that. With him out of my life, I was finally fully able to confront the trauma he caused me. My only mildly racist family members I'm still working on educating, but he had to go. I might get some blowback from the rest of my family about this, but I don't care.
 
#3
When I was a kid one of my uncles liked to tickle us kids, and it was a fun game except he wouldn't stop even when I begged him to. He would still hold me down where I couldn't get away until I panicked and started crying. It wasn't creepy or sexual, but it was a repeated violation of bodily autonomy for sure. It's really scary when you're small and someone much bigger than you overpowers you and won't stop doing something to your body. And of course, I was the one always blamed for getting upset and ruining the game. And no matter how many times I got upset about it, he would still do the same thing rather than stopping.

I kind of brushed it off all my life, because how could he know how damaging it was? I maintained the same distant-but-cordial-enough relationship with him as I did with the rest of my family. It's not like any of them would take it seriously. Besides, it was always drilled into me to not rock the boat, to not speak up, or you were the problem.

To this day getting ticked triggers a violent angry reaction in me. I will immediately start fighting and will hurt people if that's what it takes to make them stop. I warn all of my partners about this and make it abundantly clear that tickling is a hard limit for me.

With all the protests going on, a number of my ignorant racist family members have been showing their true colors, and I've been finding the courage to speak up against them. This uncle was one of the worst ones. He got angry and aggressive with me as well as going off and using racial slurs towards a black friend of his who was also trying to educate him. I feel like I finally saw him for who he truly was, a mean, vicious person who is uninterested in being a decent human being, and determined to hold onto his racist views at any cost.

I unfriended him on social media and have no intention of having any contact with him ever again. I felt like a weight lifted from me when I did that. With him out of my life, I was finally fully able to confront the trauma he caused me. My only mildly racist family members I'm still working on educating, but he had to go. I might get some blowback from the rest of my family about this, but I don't care.
I also have a tickling maniac uncle. He and my aunt live a long distance away and my family isn't tight so talking or not talking to him has never been an issue but when my sister got married like 20 years ago, I saw him for the first time in like a decade and immediately felt sick and had a panic attack and couldn't understand why. I even ended up drinking at the reception because I couldn't cope with the anxiety and I'd been sober for something like two years at that time. Similar to your situation, he later said some control freaky ugly-spirited things to me and I came to regard what happened between us when I was little as an abusive situation - he had complete control over me and what I was able to do in response to his behavior. It was gross and very bad for me. I'll see him at my grandmother's funeral and my mother's (if I live long enough) but I'll be watching my back pretty closely.

Good for you for getting away from the situation. Even if it happened in response to a new round of gross, it still gets some distance that it sounds like will be good for you. No one needs any of that.
 
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