Actually my response is for everyone.Every time I post something about ENDING this relationship with integrity and kindness, it's taken that I'm hanging in there or being a doormat. I must somehow be miscommunicating! I know we're done. Yes, ghosting is a form of emotional abuse and i'm not prepared to spend my life like this. I definitely deserve better. But I also know that the dynamic in every relationship is different. In our case, he's a frontline paramedic who's obviously greatly stressed and distressed by the pandemic. No, I'm not hanging in there, waiting for him to return. I wouldn't trust him now if he did. I want more than he can give. But I also don't want to stop offering kindness to him at this horribly grim time. It's a small thing to do when I know he's really suffering.
But you're 100% right about growing and moving on. I'm well on the way now. It is very hard, you're right there too, but you can't love someone who is unable to love either themself or you.
I hope you're ok now and found your way forward. I hope to be there soon myself.
To take or leave as they wish.