Dating Someone With Ptsd

Welcome!

Christine12, I am very surprised about the honesty the new man in your life has towards you. Is he in treatment?

He is right, if you are interested in a serious relationship, the best you can do is to learn all you can, to get information, to ask for things you do not understand, and believe me - this will happen.

You made the first big step in coming here.

You will find many people who can tell you lots of their experience and who will be there for you when needed.

Good luck!

 

I started dating a guy early in the summer who was very much like what you have described. He told me everything the went through in Iraq in great detail and swore he had told me more than his dad (who he is very close to) and his therapist. There was a huge level of trust between us. He sent me articles he felt were good about dealing with PTSD and TBI and wanted to do everything possible to help me understand.

Unfortunately, the relationship ended about a month ago anyway. The added stress of just daily relationship expectations was more than he could handle (his words, not mine). I'm devastated. He told me he still wanted to be friends, that he didn't want to cut me out of his life, and he wanted to still talk and hang out. He now won't speak to me. I've texted him a couple of times very simple things like, "Hey, how was your week?" and I get no response at all. The only way I know he's still alive is that we're still friends on Facebook.

So, my advice would be to learn all you can about PTSD, but understand that that may still not save your relationship.

 

I have to agree with Nicolette here, as for me also 5 years down the line and being married for 4 years before PTSD invaded our lives.

This is something you have to go into with your eyes wide open and to expect the unexpected. Nothing can prepare you for the realities of how it really is day to day.

 

Having ptsd has felt like trying to box with a ghost on a ship deck covered in ball bearings. It is absolutely exhausting at times and very distressing when you can't control your own body and responses. Sometimes it just consumes you. Trying to explain this to others is tricky. Trying to maintain a normal balance on the outside when inside is a hurricane is difficult. The tragic part is that the sufferer is aware but often incapable of influencing the path of their condition and its effects. To often be blamed, misunderstood or pushed in unhelpful directions by others good but ill informed intentions can inflame the situation and the medical profession is normally a hindrance in the process unless you can find a specialist.

I started to try and get help in 1999, I'm just getting to the point where I can build a modified life that won't do me further damage and then hopefully I can look for serious relationships again.

Good luck.

 

Christine12, I think he has been (incredibly) forthcoming with you.

Here4him, it's usually what 'isn't' said that's part of the key to the problem. Internal shame, guilt, beliefs, horrors. As Springer said, that don't go away. And that perhaps he can't even identify (or identify yet).

But I don't think anyone wants to feel like a liability to their partner. It really requires lots of (continual) work on the sufferer's part and very unique SO's for it to be worth it and possible in a healthy way.

Best wishes to all.

 

Hi, I think it's a very good thing that he wants you to be informed and included. Its great that he is aware of the dynamics and wants you to go in with some knowing and understanding for yourself. However you have to be careful that you keep a balance for yourself.

 

Have you read the book or watched the film The Horsewhisperer? I think it's kind of like that.