• 💖 [Donate To Keep MyPTSD Online] 💖 Every contribution, no matter how small, fuels our mission and helps us continue to provide peer-to-peer services. Your generosity keeps us independent and available freely to the world. MyPTSD closes if we can't reach our annual goal.

Dealing with mental health and the call to activism

Status
Not open for further replies.

Reflections

Confident
So I just got off a social media platform where a friend has posted a call to activism. Quoting someone saying it wasn't good enough to just educate yourself on issues but you needed to help fix the issues while using some analogy to get it across how morally insensitive it is to not help others. This is just one of a handful of "shoulds" messages I see from time to time. Telling people what to do or that what they are doing isn't good enough.

I've been struggling with my mental health and physical health (I'm exhausted all the time) I'm going to a medical doctor soon to get tests done and ask for medication for anxiety in the mean time I try to get myself to do income work.

I don't feel like I'm in a place to give back. I have felt guilt (borderline shame) over not being able to do more than to educate myself on the issues. Then I see messages invalidating what I've done and blanketed statements that suggests all should do this or that.

I don't see people giving space for those struggling with mental and physical health problems. If you didn't vote it's your fault if the political party didn't get what they wanted. If you don't fight for these issues you're morally reprehensible. There's no thought about how mental and physical health problems might impede the ability to function and do. I feel like if I'd say, "hey I feel unseen and hurt by these messages" that would just be proof of how terrible I am in the people eyes who post this stuff.

While I see messages about mental health saying, "it's okay if all you did was survive" I don't see people posting articles and posts about how it's okay if you can't give back. I just see people saying they have mental and physical issues but they still did something.

I guess I'm feeling alone. I feel there's no space for me to just focus on recovery.

TLDR; when you see messages that are a call of action that shame or guilt those who don't, how do you respond?
 
When I feel I'm not doing enough, I come here. This community knows what it's like to not be able to 'give back' because we are sometimes drowning and overwhelmed with the things we have to deal with.

Here we get support and here we are heard and understood. I chose here as opposed to the world that doesn't understand or sometimes doesn't care how hard we struggle.

And for every hurdle we overcome, we are giving back. In ways of being able to help each other. And that is enough for me. That's pretty large when you stop and think about it. We give back right here. There is hope and personal power in that way of giving.
 
I have allowed myself and my partner space. I've given me that permission. We are both people who usually protest and are political. But these last few months have been super hard both of us. My partner because both her parents have died this lockdown and me because my trauma has been so heavy/present. So that has felt enough to deal with. I think it is me giving me permission to not protest because life is too hard that has helped.
I haven't responded on social media to my friends posts about protesting. I don't have the energy or headspace, even though what is happening is something I hold closely (my partner is mixed heritage and we have experienced racism and homophobia and have been very active in political movements.....but right now: no. Too hard. Too much. Too overwhelming.)

Also, there are different ways to be 'active'. It doesn't have to be attending a protest. It can be conversation or listening or writing an email to your political representative. None of that has to be 'right now'. It can be whenever.

And I agree with @ladee, who put it beautifully.

Hope you find inner peace with it @Reflections and know it is ok. You need to look after yourself, which is activism in your internal world!
 
Self-care comes first. Self-care always. Part of the reason the call for protest can be so effective is because it hits our guilt buttons. But you have very eloquently listed the reasons why you cannot get out there. If anyone looks down on you because of this, they're doing their movement wrong. We have mental health issues - WE are part of the underprivileged and underserved in society. A truly just society would lift US up, too.

This doesn't mean we can't support Black Lives Matter here in the USA at the same time as best we can. Black people here are incredibly underprivileged, and Blacks with mental health issues in many cases might as well be living under a death sentence.

There SHOULD be enough empathy to go around. But empathy can be difficult to find these days. So try to understand the racism surrounding you every day and that you might be living in your own life. And then self-care, self-care, self-care.
 
Last edited:
I'm actually so glad you posted this, because I have thought about it a lot these past few months. Everybody has said it far better than I, but let me touch briefly on just a few things:

I have felt guilt (borderline shame) over not being able to do more than to educate myself on the issues.

While I don't think you *have* to do anything, that you are educating yourself and staying engaged is awesome! I don't do anything either. And because nearly all my friends are heavily involved in protests and speaking out, etc..., I feel guilty sometimes for not doing any of it. When I feel really bad, I totally disconnect. And then I do what I can...usually, reading and watching documentaries. But I am at a point where I have given myself permission to engage with the world in the ways I can. I hope you will, too!

Then I see messages invalidating what I've done and blanketed statements that suggests all should do this or that.

Yep. The arrogance of people who are genuinely trying to make a difference is baffling. And seriously hypocritical, in my opinion. Where are you seeing these messages? My guess would be social media. Hard as it may be, limit your interactions. Unplug for awhile.

I don't see people giving space for those struggling with mental and physical health problems.

Very, very true. Additionally, mental health has become this *thing* for people *because* they are having to stay isolated. Like, what about the rest of us who have been struggling like this for years?

When I feel I'm not doing enough, I come here.

Me, too!

And for every hurdle we overcome, we are giving back.

Absolutely! It may not be as public a display of giving back, but it is critical.

Also, there are different ways to be 'active'. It doesn't have to be attending a protest. It can be conversation or listening or writing an email to your political representative. None of that has to be 'right now'. It can be whenever.

Yes!

those who post these kinds of things are just playing a guilt trip on you.

^^^ This.
 
I follow some vegan and human rights pages on FB - mostly informative stuff. But every now and again someone wants to get all precious about the long list of things we all 'must' start getting active about in our day to day lives

I personally think that attitude most often comes from a place of frustration. And, there's no amount of me protesting in the street is going to help relieve that person's frustration.

So, I educate myself on what I can, particularly topics I feel strongly about. I share information when people ask for it. I try and be an ethical consumer where I can be. And I research candidates before I vote.

And I empathise with that person's frustration that the common 'we' don't do more, or achieve more.

But my activism days are behind me. Because I have a chronic mental illness, and if I don't look after that, I'll end up in hospital. Which takes resources away from the community, and helps no one.
 
So I just got off a social media platform where a friend has posted a call to activism. Quoting someone saying it wasn't good enough to just educate yourself on issues but you needed to help fix the issues while using some analogy to get it across how morally insensitive it is to not help others. This is just one of a handful of "shoulds" messages I see from time to time. Telling people what to do or that what they are doing isn't good enough.

I've been struggling with my mental health and physical health (I'm exhausted all the time) I'm going to a medical doctor soon to get tests done and ask for medication for anxiety in the mean time I try to get myself to do income work.

I don't feel like I'm in a place to give back. I have felt guilt (borderline shame) over not being able to do more than to educate myself on the issues. Then I see messages invalidating what I've done and blanketed statements that suggests all should do this or that.

I don't see people giving space for those struggling with mental and physical health problems. If you didn't vote it's your fault if the political party didn't get what they wanted. If you don't fight for these issues you're morally reprehensible. There's no thought about how mental and physical health problems might impede the ability to function and do. I feel like if I'd say, "hey I feel unseen and hurt by these messages" that would just be proof of how terrible I am in the people eyes who post this stuff.

While I see messages about mental health saying, "it's okay if all you did was survive" I don't see people posting articles and posts about how it's okay if you can't give back. I just see people saying they have mental and physical issues but they still did something.

I guess I'm feeling alone. I feel there's no space for me to just focus on recovery.

TLDR; when you see messages that are a call of action that shame or guilt those who don't, how do you respond?

They dont understand your experience so do not take it as pertaining to you in the slightest. I do believe people have the obligation to do what they CAN right now. But it is not your fault if you are unable. However you may be able to educate those around you about your unique situation is affected by what is going down right now.

I have long been active but recently not so much. The other day I went to attend a rally. As I was approaching I saw several white nationalist starting to gather. I had a full blow freak out and had to turn around and go home. Nobody is going to shame me about that
 
When I feel "should" on, be it by others or by myself, I turn to this little tune to help me get grounded again:


I used to be very outwardly active and vocal in several arenas until I painfully learned I was severely overdrawing my energy account and leaving my mental and physical health behind, and in worse shape than when I started, as I was one who had a hard time saying no, especially when it deeply tugged my emotions or when I had direct experience and felt like it was my duty to share. It used to fuel me, but something flipped and it drained me.

Every breath is precious and how I spend each one can take me down or build me up. If I keep taking myself down, that's what will be reflected in all my efforts. If I set boundaries, focus on cell-ph care, and commit to my healing, I eventually build myself up, even if only for a little while some days.

All forms of energy, be it breath, a-tension, learning, sharing experiences, giving, exchanging ideas, monetary exchange for goods and services you feel good about, civil discussion, time in all of its forms, etc. can be used as a form of activism. Not a bit of it has to be publicly shared or spoken of. I used to be loud and proud on social media, convinced folks would want to learn what I've learned, but I was mistaken. I was also stressed to the max in my attempts, convinced I just needed to try harder. Now I'm just an observer and continually weed out my newsfeed to be more aligned with my current vibrations and aspirations.

Calling others "selfish" for not doing activism the way they think it "should" be done is, in my opinion, a form of trying to control and manipulate. It doesn't change my mind about how I should do things, it just changes how I feel about them after their attempts to guilt or shame me into action. I wish we could communicate in ways other than just using words/language. So many words automatically shut others down, making it impossible to grow those moments any further.

Shift happens. Steer it to happen in the ways that most healthily benefit your well-being. You're the best advocate you've got. Those folks doing all that shoulding aren't taking care of your basic needs and have absolutely no say in how you do you. The best activism you could ever partake in is the kind that healthily nurtures cell-ph. May some tsunami-like waves of massive compassion and empathy kick in world wide sooner rather than later.
 
There is a LOT of people being manipulated through fear and guilt-tripping at the moment. Fear and guilt are NEVER a place that's going to bring about positive change. Neither is divisiveness.

On one hand we need to stand for something that brings people together as humans, equal and accountable, and yet, I notice a lot of people don't even understand much about history or what is really going on. They don't bother to do real research for themselves, they just get caught up in a tide of what is the popular "virtue signalling" cause that's the current common interest issue, fully given to us by the main stream media which does, pretty much, nothing, but, peddle fear and guilt-tripping manipulation.

If you focus on being a good person, who is honest, kind, fair and has integrity, I guarantee you will be doing more towards a better future than all the loudly virtue signalling, I'm gonna say, bullies, because they try to dictate and manipulate by claiming moral and ethical superiority and they play "pity politics" which is never really uplifting or empowering for anybody.

Try doing something that makes you feel good and uplifted and then you can share that. People only improve society by being upstanding, genuine, truly moral, but, not grandstanding.

Good science and scientific knowledge helps. Good understanding of history helps. Good food. Good self care . Good parenting. Loving relationships. Good hygeine, both physical and emotional. Knowing yourself and not just allowing yourself to be manipulated and motivated by group think helps humanity more than all this virtue signalling, hollow, narcissistic manipulation.
 
There is a LOT of people being manipulated through fear and guilt-tripping at the moment. Fear and guilt are NEVER a place that's going to bring about positive change. Neither is divisiveness.
On one hand we need to stand for something that brings people together as humans, equal and accountable, and yet, I notice a lot of people don't even understand much about history or what is really going on. They don't bother to do real research for themselves, they just get caught up in a tide of what is the popular "virtue signalling" cause that's the current common interest issue, fully given to us by the main stream media which does, pretty much, nothing, but, peddle fear and guilt-tripping manipulation.

If you focus on being a good person, who is honest, kind, fair and has integrity, I guarantee you will be doing more towards a better future than all the loudly virtue signalling, I'm gonna say, bullies, because they try to dictate and manipulate by claiming moral and ethical superiority and they play "pity politics" which is never really uplifting or empowering for anybody.
Try doing something that makes you feel good and uplifted and then you can share that. People only improve society by being upstanding, genuine, truly moral, but, not grandstanding.

Good science and scientific knowledge helps. Good understanding of history helps. Good food. Good self care . Good parenting. Loving relationships. Good hygeine, both physical and emotional. Knowing yourself and not just allowing yourself to be manipulated and motivated by group think helps humanity more than all this virtue signalling, hollow, narcissistic manipulation.

Well said!

Feeling it was important to do something I tried to engage with local "activists". All they really seemed interested in was congratulating themselves on how woke they are (I probably gave away my political leaning right there). Though I still try to take some direct action my conclusions are very much the same as yours regarding having a positive impact on the future.

I do find comfort in knowing we raised 3 children that are good people and well informed, That is probably a bigger contribution than all of my activism.

Though I still have almost daily panic attacks over our current stat of affairs. I just got to keep reminding myself of the points you so well outlined above
 
Quoting someone saying it wasn't good enough to just educate yourself on issues but you needed to help fix the issues while using some analogy to get it across how morally insensitive it is to not help others.
That concept - that it's not enough to educate oneself, etc. - is seriously morally myopic.

Individual accountability matters. It's essential. Group dynamics depend on it. Doesn't matter if the group is a small family unit, a bunch of friends, a den of thieves, a community, a society...whether or not it can work well depends on the willingness of each individual to maintain accountability for their own actions.

Protests happen when one or more (usually, more) individual(s) become upset by what they perceive as dangerous behavior, something that threatens the well-being of the group. Protest says "This is wrong. Stop. Look. Change."

It's OK that there are some people who can amass and act on their beliefs.

But make no mistake - it ALL begins with individual accountability.
TLDR; when you see messages that are a call of action that shame or guilt those who don't, how do you respond?
I get frustrated whenever someone tells me that "people should", "people need"...because it's not at all effective. Guilting or shaming someone into participation is pointless: it doesn't actually change anybody, because that's not how humans work. Humans need to choose. Make choices. If we don't do something based on choice, then we end up with a lot of inner conflict.

Educating yourself counts. Figuring out what you believe, counts. It's not lesser-than...it's the key to everything else. You've got no way of knowing right now how or when you'll want to call on your beliefs. And you don't have to know. So, some people are calling on their beliefs now, and agitating. That's great for them, it's where they're at. And lots of others aren't agitating or acting - they are listening, thinking, choosing. That's great for them - it's where they are at.

People who are saying "all you other people need to do something because if you don't, you're wrong"...Well, that's about them, not you. It could be that they think they are helping. It could be that they are angry and don't know where to put it. It could be that shaming others makes them feel better. It could be repeating messages they've absorbed from their own lives.

Could be lots of things. But it's nothing to do with you. Only you can understand your own mind - and if you are caring, thinking, questioning your own perspective, figuring out your own stance...that's a huge contribution to the group, and I'm sorry that you - and lots of people - feel like it isn't enough. Really, it's a lot.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top