Dealing with negative beliefs about men and trusting them

littlestars

Learning
How do you deal with intrusive thoughts that are negative, cause you fear/panic, and mistrust?
I have been abused in every way by men since I can remember. I have a lot of experiences where men often make me feel like I'm in danger. I often don't trust them. They would put on an act and then change into monsters. I still have trouble accepting that men have emotions and empathy. Not all men are mean and abusive and predatory... But I just can't seem to feel safe and comfortable with the idea that I am not in danger. Often times I'll get triggered, have the intrusive thoughts and then not be able to trust my boyfriend for an hour or so. It's really upsetting because he is a good man and I don't want to have him keep reassuring me that everything is okay.
Please help.
 

Movingforward10

MyPTSD Pro
I understand.
My T pointed out that one of my core beliefs is that all men are dangerous.
I feel totally unsafe if I notice I'm the only female with men around me. Even if they haven't even noticed me, or haven't done anything in the slightest to show that they might be a little bit dangerous, even if they are being kind or considerate. My mind and body are on high alert.
The way my T says to work through this is exposure therapy. For me, I'm working on 'banter' with delivery men or similar as this has been a trigger for me. (problem is, when I have previously done 'banter', one time that man stalked me...so I have that in my mind: how do you work out which man is the safe one to practice this with?!).

It's a mindfield. Because we can't let go our safety totally. We have to still 'risk assess' things. It's working out what is the reality of that risk assessment and what is trauma feelings taking over.

Not sure this post helps at all as I haven't worked it out! But just saying: I hear and understand.
 

littlestars

Learning
I understand.
My T pointed out that one of my core beliefs is that all men are dangerous.
I feel totally unsafe if I notice I'm the only female with men around me. Even if they haven't even noticed me, or haven't done anything in the slightest to show that they might be a little bit dangerous, even if they are being kind or considerate. My mind and body are on high alert.
The way my T says to work through this is exposure therapy. For me, I'm working on 'banter' with delivery men or similar as this has been a trigger for me. (problem is, when I have previously done 'banter', one time that man stalked me...so I have that in my mind: how do you work out which man is the safe one to practice this with?!).

It's a mindfield. Because we can't let go our safety totally. We have to still 'risk assess' things. It's working out what is the reality of that risk assessment and what is trauma feelings taking over.

Not sure this post helps at all as I haven't worked it out! But just saying: I hear and understand.
Thank you for your response. It helps me to know I'm not alone with that belief. Exposure therapy sounds good. I've done that before with certain things. I'm sorry that you were stalked. I'm glad that you are still moving forward though. You helped. Thank you.
 
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