Dealing with PTSD again (10 years later)

imyuinny

New Here
Hi all,

I'm new here and have been dealing with PTSD on and off for about 10 years. I came to this forum after having a PTSD attack a couple of days ago. I have been experiencing anxiety/panic attacks for the last couple of months from work but didn't think it would be related to PTSD till a friend who is an Art Therapist pointed out that it is closely linked to it. It blew my mind that I still had underlying currents of PTSD as I thought it was gone 5 years ago. To be honest, I don't know what to expect from here... I feel quite alone not knowing who to talk to about these matters. How is my panic attacks closely related to PTSD is that during these last few months, I felt that I was losing control of my career.

A little background to give context, I was raped, abused and mindf*cked by my ex-fiancé when I was 28. Ever since then, I've made a promised to myself to take back control of my life. I was never going to let him or the trauma defined my future. So the decisions I made moving forward was all about making me a stronger person and be the person I want to be because I deserve happiness. That was my guiding post. 10 years later... I have a stable career, great group of friends and a family who supports and encourages me, just no partner as I'm not looking for one anyway.

I'm in digital advertising and after covid, when businesses are forced to become digital... everything boomed (in a good way). But also the stress has crept into anxiety, I was getting jumpy with Whatsapp messages, unable to react during meetings, hyperventilating during presentations, chest pains when dealing with clients, shaking while working... like every-day function is crippling away one by one. I felt hopeless and useless... like as if I'm getting a PTSD just minus the flashbacks/nightmares.

It was as if it's still underneath my skin... I don't know if anyone feels this way but I hate it.
 

Friday

Moderator
But also the stress has crept into anxiety,
I have been experiencing anxiety/panic attacks for the last couple of months from work but didn't think it would be related to PTSD till a friend who is an Art Therapist pointed out that it is closely linked to it. It blew my mind that I still had underlying currents of PTSD as I thought it was gone 5 years ago.

^^^ THIS >>> The ptsd cup explanation

One of the most mind blowingly useful things... ever.
 
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