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Dealing With Stress And Fear After Home Invasion

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by ccks, Mar 27, 2016.

  1. ccks

    ccks Member

    Two days ago my home was invaded. My mom and I were home. My mom had surgery last week and has been recovering. Usually I am home alone during the day, but because she has been recovering she has been home during the day. If she hadn't had her surgery I would have been alone with my pet cat when the robbers broke in.

    My mom was the one who heard them turning the doorknob and by the time I came out of my bedroom (we were on the second level in a 2 story house) I heard the robbers kicking in the door to get in. I tried to grab my cat who was in the room with me, but he jumped out of my arms and ran.

    I ran out of my room behind my mom and the robbers broke in by shooting the door. The sound of the gunshot filled the entire house and I thought they were going to shoot us. We ran into another bedroom, locked the door, and hid behind the bed. My mom was on the phone with the emergency operator pleading for them to hurry and send the police.

    I kept thinking about the robbers killing my cat if they found him or my cat running out of the house (he is an indoor cat and never goes outside. He didn't have a collar on at the time so if he ran away no one could identify him). I also thought of the robbers coming upstairs, kicking in the bedroom door, and shooting my mom and I. We were so scared. My mom's stitches from her surgery came out from us being huddled behind the bed. At one point she covered me to protect me just in case they came in and shot us.

    The police came 7 minutes later and yelled for the robbers to come out with their hands or they would shoot. We were so scared to speak that my mom's voice was cracking when she yelled, "We're in here" to let the police know where we were hiding. An officer told us it was okay to come out and my mom came out of the bedroom. I followed behind her expecting to see all of our belongings gone or my cat gone. Fortunately, absolutely nothing was stolen and my cat ran to hide under my bed. I grabbed him, hugged him, and immediately put his collar on and put him his cat carrier. My bedroom was a mess though because the police had to search to make sure no one was hiding in the closets or under the bed.

    But at that point I didn't care. I just wanted to leave and not be in the house. I was so scared I was in shock. My mom started crying and all of our neighbors came out to see what happened. One neighbor told us the robbers held another neighbor's visitors at gun point and stole their phones, wallets, and watches. I eventually started crying and hugged my mom. I didn't know if we'd make it. It happened so fast that the only thing we could do was run and hide, but we had no escape. If we wanted to get out we would have to jump out of the window onto pavement and neither of us could do that.

    After the police left we had someone come and fix our door. A relative came and picked me and my cat up to stay at their home for a few days. The night I got to their house I couldn't sleep. I kept crying as I thought about how scared my mom was and how she tried to protect me. I also thought about how they could have killed us because they had a gun and were not afraid to use it. I also felt horrible for not being able to hold onto my cat when we ran into the bedroom and was so worried he was hurt or ran away.

    My mom has not been able to sleep and does not like being home alone, and neither do I. We're afraid of it happening again and my family and I are looking to move. I felt really helpless, sad, and angry. My mom wants me to go to counseling with her and I said I will. I'm trying to focus on other things like school and work, but every time I think of being in the house I feel sick and like my life is in danger. I'm not sure how to feel safe again at home.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2016
    shimmerz, Muse and Friday like this.
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  3. driftaway

    driftaway Active Member

    Wow. Thanks for sharing your story. I'm no expert, but telling your story is one way we cope with recent traumas. If you can, keep writing about it. What were you thinking? What were you seeing? How can you help yourself feel more safe in your home now? Do everything you can to take care of yourself. Hugs if you want them.
  4. hodge

    hodge I'm a VIP Premium Member Donated

    What a horrible experience, ccks!! Omg! I'm so glad you and your mom are going to go to counseling. The sooner the better! You guys take care!!
    ccks and ladee like this.
  5. Stickler

    Stickler I'm a VIP

    So, until you can move?

    Make a list of things you can afford to do to make your home more secure, and do those things. I'd especially encourage a highly visible ( clunky-looking )camera aimed at your front yard from the roof.

    If you want to be sneaky just put the obvious camera housing up and have the real cameras concealed in lawn gnomes or hanging plant baskets or something, so you can see who comes along and rips the housing down...this is TOTALLY what I'd do, because I'm like that.

    If you can afford it, alarm system and remote monitoring company. If not, find a sign in the garbage? Hey.

    Put a sticker on the front door that says " I <3 my Rottweiler." Hey, it's 4$ that may make someone think twice.

    This is a neighborhood problem, so see what the police are doing to increase their presence in the neighborhood.

    This may well be someone from outside the neighborhood...BUT no guarantees on that.
    TBH, it is statistically more likely to be a bunch of teens from your neighborhood or nearby...look at what they stole-cellphones and wallets. Stupid teenagers are rather likely.
    Why? Cellphones all have GPS trackers. Most people carry cards more than cash-go on and try to get money off those stolen cards, kids...or go buy stuff with them...on camera. With a signature.

    Armed robbery carries a 10-year sentence. Not saying these rocket scientists weren't dangerous. Amateurs are. Just analyzing the stupid.
    I strongly suspect they are going to be caught.
    If they DID take anything, these geniuses likely would have sold it on Craigslist.
    shimmerz, ccks, Friday and 1 other person like this.
  6. ccks

    ccks Member

    Thank you. I feel comfortable talking about my feelings here, it's just hard to express them without getting upset.
  7. ccks

    ccks Member

    Thank you. Those are all good suggestions. Nothing of ours was stolen, but the neighbor's visitor's items were stolen. It's a pretty bad neighborhood and sometimes people won't talk in fear of retaliation.
  8. hodge

    hodge I'm a VIP Premium Member Donated

    I hate that. Like a few people can hold everyone in the neighborhood hostage in a way. It's awful.
  9. joeylittle

    joeylittle Donation drive til August 1, donate today Administrator Generous $250+

    @ccks - I'm sorry that all happened to you. And please, go to see a therapist or counselor sooner rather than later. If this happened as recently as it sounds (within the last few weeks?), you still can start working on it, and it might not turn into PTSD. It will be upsetting to talk about - that's just a real fact of it - but, if you can think of letting all those feelings flow out as a way to release built up pressure, like steam from a valve - you need to let your mind go through a process of accepting and normalizing what happened. I don't mean that it was acceptable or normal - but that you can understand it as a bad thing that happened to you in the past, and it's not still happening now.

    I'm probably making it sound so simple, and I really know it's scarier than that. But trauma is always dealt with better, sooner. I really hope you can let yourself go to counseling.
    ccks and hodge like this.
  10. Muse

    Muse I'm a VIP Sponsor $100+

    I think it's okay to talk about it and get upset. You go ahead and get upset, honey. That's fine and natural.

    What you need to do is find a safer place to stay for a while to help your mom recover. Can you have your insurance (if any) cover a hotel, while repairs are made)? Can a relative pay to fly you both to stay with them for a while?

    Can you stay with someone else or a work mate for a while? Research a place to move on Craigslist and Zillow. Usually, I felt safer in large apartment complex with an alarm and neighbors close by.

    You're doing good. I'm so glad you were not harmed any further and that your mom cared for you. She sounds like a good mom. In that, you're quite fortunate and enviable. :)
    shimmerz and ccks like this.
  11. We had a home invasion this past Monday and I was feeling so lost until I found this site. As I lay awake going on 4 days now I’m so thankful reading all these posts I’m not as crazy as I thought.
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