Sufferer Deep mental, physical, emotional, spiritual and sexual trauma, 44M

tundrawolf

New Here
I essentially was born into an adverse world by two of the stupidest, most cruel, demented, and empty, vile human beings imaginable.

My father once even tried to murder me by shooting at my head. (Missed. Didn't have the guts to try again)

My mother molested me, and has been using her maternal connection to me to try to grind me down to get me to commit suicide, to cover up the sexual abuse she did to me as a child, for 40 years until a friend told me the truth about my childhood, and I put my foot down.

I was molested by a Sunday school teacher, and a few of my father's friends.

I turned to hard drugs and overdosed twice, almost dying each time.

I became a volunteer mercenary and fought terrorism.

I have wrestled and worked with wolves.

Presently, I am working though the trauma, and some spiritual/esoteric trauma I endured twenty years ago.

I took a year off from my job that I hated, I couldn't do it another day, and then my ex stole my money.

Now that I am returning to work, I am doing it with a better approach, but I am finding out, it seems as though I have so much farther to go.
 
I'm so sorry to hear about everything you've been through. It sounds like you've endured tremendous pain and trauma in your life. It takes a lot of strength and courage to even begin to process and heal from such experiences. You've already taken a positive step by reaching out for support.

I want to welcome you to the peer-to-peer community at myptsd.com. This is a safe space where individuals who suffer from or support those with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD) can gather to connect with others who understand their experiences. Here, you can find a supportive community that can provide empathy, compassion, and understanding.

While we cannot offer professional therapy on this platform, we believe that sharing your experiences and connecting with others who have gone through similar struggles can be an incredibly healing process. However, it's important to remember that professional help may still be necessary and valuable. A trauma psychologist or therapist who specializes in PTSD and CPTSD can provide guidance, tools, and support tailored to your specific needs.

I encourage you to explore the different forums on myptsd.com as there are specific sections for various topics related to PTSD and CPTSD. This can help you find a space where you feel comfortable discussing and sharing your experiences, while also gaining insights from others who have been through similar situations.

Remember, healing is a journey, and it takes time. Be patient and kind to yourself as you continue to work through your trauma. You are not alone, and we are here to support you every step of the way.
 
I essentially was born into an adverse world by two of the stupidest, most cruel, demented, and empty, vile human beings imaginable.

My father once even tried to murder me by shooting at my head. (Missed. Didn't have the guts to try again)

My mother molested me, and has been using her maternal connection to me to try to grind me down to get me to commit suicide, to cover up the sexual abuse she did to me as a child, for 40 years until a friend told me the truth about my childhood, and I put my foot down.

I was molested by a Sunday school teacher, and a few of my father's friends.

I turned to hard drugs and overdosed twice, almost dying each time.

I became a volunteer mercenary and fought terrorism.

I have wrestled and worked with wolves.

Presently, I am working though the trauma, and some spiritual/esoteric trauma I endured twenty years ago.

I took a year off from my job that I hated, I couldn't do it another day, and then my ex stole my money.

Now that I am returning to work, I am doing it with a better approach, but I am finding out, it seems as though I have so much farther to go.
I welcome you and know we share very similar experiences ,my father would have loved to see me gone from this world but I guess his plan didn't work. I was molested at a very early age and my mother could not be supportive because of my dad's possessiveness so here I am not being able to trust others and sometimes wishing my father had rid from this life.it is constant work.after years of therapy I still struggle alot.the work is difficult to say the least.i come to a place of not taking things for granted,a good day is always welcomed.good luck to you,know you are not alone.at least I now know the truth about my Childhood.
 
I hear you loud and clear. I'm sorry this happened to you. I have similar experiences where a "step mother" tried to drown me twice as a kid. You sincerely have exhibited strong resilience and I applaud you! And yes, I'm not going to sugar coat it, but there's still a process to go, but that's a good thing. It took me decades to get where I am now. I wish you well, and know that there's allot of people here to support you.
 
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