Depersonalisation - is this it and how do you manage it?


I don't have any diagnosis, and I'm not sure how I feel about labels. But it feels that right now, having a label about this might help to understand.

Often it seems that when a feeling is 'real', or authentic, it doesn't feel 'real'. It might at times, but then it evaporates and it's like I can cognitively think about it but I can't feel it. It just doesn't feel real. It's 'over there', out of reach.
Same with (some emotionally heightened) memories.

I don't think I'm articulating this well. I'm sorry. I'm just stuck at the moment and trying to figure a way through.

So, when things don't feel real (feelings and/or memories), is that depersonalisation?
And how do you work through it?
How do you make it 'real'?


My personal shorthand

Depersonalization = I’m not real
Derealization = The world isn’t real

So, for me, that would be derealization. As it’s a thing -a feeling, a memory, etc.- not being real. Although I’m relatively certain others would categorize internal things, like feelings and memories, as losing part of who they are, becoming less real themselves. Shrug. I don’t know that either is more or less correct.

And how do you work through it?
How do you make it 'real'?
I cannot brain today. But if I can find 2 brain cells to rub together to catch a spark? I’ll return to this.


I always thought of this like a form of dissociation. Like it's there, but somewhere else where you aren't. Like you can see it from afar but not being inside of it. Then I really can't tell if I'm having a big feeling or not. And starts to slide.

However with awful memories... I wonder if because we became so remote from some of them because they were hurting us that when they come back in a less heightened form, less precise, less colourful and attacking, then it doesn't feel real enough anymore to match what we thought the memory is. Could it be possible that then normal memory processing could be felt as "fake"?


Thanks @ruborcoraxxx , that is exactly how it feels.

How to make it feel real? Do we need to , to be able to process it?

Yeah, I can see that about the memories. Highly annoying though. Because without a more full memory, and with not being able to feel the feelings associated with it, or those feelings feeel out if my body/not real: it makes is so hard to know what is real and what is the truth and what happened and if I am making things up etc.
Round and round in circles I go!