Depression and Isolation


This is a symptom that I've been feeling for a very long time now. Depressed and isolating myself from the outside world. Because I feel like I can't trust anyone anymore, I have no idea who to trust or know who's okay to talk too. Survivor of Domestic Violence and he did so much to me, that I'm scared to put myself out there again. Before I was never like this, but now I'm paranoid, and fearful and depressed. Apart of me wants to let people into my life again. When another part of me just wants to be alone, due to fear of being abused again. My therapist is helping me with boundaries, since I was never good at that to begin with. Told me what I'm feeling is completely normal, but sometimes it gets so lonely for me. A lot of my friends stopped speaking to me due to PTSD and not a lot of them understand and it's very embarassing to tell them about everything I been through. Don't want to put my stress on them or upset them, because it's pretty traumatic. The one thing she told me to do was walk around my neighborhood, so I'm going to try to do this. Just so I can put myself out there.


You can do this by small steps.

Like, going for buying a chocolate or a small snack really nearby.

Inviting a few friends to come around, or just calling them and having a nice convo. It’s really hard and I also tend to turn into a bear, it goes by phases and every time I have to get out it’s a whole thing.

Having a place to go with a safe social group it is indeed very useful.

And it’s okay if in some days it’s just not there. Nurture that part of you that needs to feel safe by giving tokens of safety. Letting that part know that you no longer are in violence, that you’ll no longer will be hurt in that way, at least not by just having walks, meeting your friends or shopping. And progressively you can extend from there. I like to have objects that are different from the times I was in the relationship, different coats, different sensations. So the number of cues of impending doom do wind down.

For your friends you can just tell them it’s very hard and sad and that you’re really depressed and scared. No need to go into the details. Very few people manage to handle the details without somehow feeling attacked by it. Some do. Some might also have some experience with DV but you just don’t know about it. I had the case with a friend and I was lucky she was there.

And for the moments you’re at home, make your place a little sanctuary. Like, Marie Kondo the space so you can really recharge from the inside before going on the outside. It’s something useful you can do without having to be out there and it helps to feel better before going out there.

Good luck with all and gentle hugs. DV is just such a dark space and the loneliness is real. It breaks you in places you didn’t even know were there. But recovery is definitely possible. It’s slow and frustrating, but every day gets a bit better.

Personally, psychiatric medication has helped a lot and I don’t think I could have got through it without it. I’m still in. It was horrid but the medication did cut a bit off the edge.