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Desensitising From Sleep Triggers?

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Over the past few days, I've become concious of the triggers associated with going to sleep at night, in particular the triggers from my OH rolling over in bed or getting up in the night to go to the toilet or whatever. The triggers have always been there, but now that I'm working through some particular memories it's particularly bad. And from past experience with new memories, this is likely to be very raw for weeks or months.

Last night was particularly bad. I was scared to go to bed but I managed to do it. Every time he moved while we were lying in bed, I got triggered, but I did try to stay calm and try to go to sleep. Then he got up, and I was beside myself. He couldn't stop coughing (he has a cold) and for some reason he kept coming in and out of the bedroom. I lost it and couldn't stop crying, I was so distressed. I asked him to sleep on the couch (because he was still coughing) and I really really wanted to get a couple of hours sleep - I've been sleeping very badly the past few days because he keeps getting up in the night.

Lying in bed after he went to sleep on the couch, I was scared and depressed, memories of being raped when I was little, memories of my mother trying to suffocate me if I cried at night when I was a baby, somatic feet pain (not sure what that's about yet), other memories too. I eventually managed to sleep for 4 hours.

I don't know how to desensitise from this. Him getting up at night or rolling over is an extreme trigger for me now. And I don't want to disrupt my sleep any more than it already is, but avoiding being triggered is probably not good either.

Should I buy an inflatable mattress and sleep in another room? The couch isn't really a long term option - they're too small, plus then the cat is likely to jump on me in the middle of the night, because she sleeps in the lounge room. Or what? I have no idea. I can't stop my OH getting up in the night - he always seems to need to go to the toilet or whatever.

I am in therapy and I have an appointment today, but I suspect it will be a 'this isn't working, can you recommend someone else please' session.

:stupid: This lack of sleep is getting to me and I don't know what to do.
:think:I wonder if two twin beds put together would prevent you from feeling the movement of his bed when he gets up at night. Then you would be sleeping "together" and not avoiding the trigger and yet decreasing the impact of the bed moving.

Just a thought from someone who know the impact of triggers.:smile::hello::smile:
Thanks for the replies. I think I've taken the edge off the triggers by talking them through with my OH. He's talked me through it by saying I'm safe now, this is my house now. I think also being concious of the reasons helps a little. And he knows what's going on, so he's being more supportive rather than getting annoyed at my trigger reactions. Been a difficult weekend though.
:hello:Glad to hear that there has been positive steps.:smile: Any improvement is worth celebrating!:occasion:
Keep us posted
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