Difficult grandmother and mother

[littlestars]

All of a sudden I can’t stand my boyfriend’s grandma. I love her, but she gets on my nerves even if I just think about her. She assumes my boyfriend is on drugs and then repeatedly asks me about it. I know she is concerned, but you have to draw the line somewhere. When I tell her the truth she says “don’t lie to me”. It’s annoying. I try my best to cut her some slack because she is old and slowly losing her sensibilities. It’s just so hard because I’m taking everything at face value. It angers me so much that it triggers flashbacks and anxiety attacks. I don’t know what to do. I feel like such a jerk for being annoyed with her. I feel bad. But I don’t like it when people ask me about my boyfriend’s drug use. That is his past, not the present. His mother will do that too. I get annoyed with her because every time she suspects something I have an hour to hour and a half phone conversation with her. It sucks. I have stuff to do but can’t be rude. It isn’t fair that I am put in this position, it angers me on so many levels. I don’t like feeling angry because I lose control and I don’t need that to happen. I’m afraid that I’ll hurt someone verbally or break something.

 

[Defaultxlovee]

Hello I'm not an expert but a few things come to mind.
Boundaries
Assertiveness
And bringing it up to their attention how it's affecting you.

Of course first thing is take care of yourself before trying to make a situation better.

Putting myself in your shoes and specifically your details of why it's upsetting you. I agree it's sensible, and no need to doubt yourself

 

[Survivor3]

Yes it's about saying to them that you don't want to talk about it because it's upsetting you and that it's not up for discussion.

 

[Movingforward10]

Sounds like they don't trust him. And they see you as helpful and likely to tell them the truth if he were to start using drugs again. Their worry about that is understandable.
But it's actually between him and them. Not you.
So yep, just tell them: nope. You're not having these conversations again.