Difficult Session with Therapist Today

David1959

Confident
Quick background - I am an adult survivor who never said anything for 45 years until 5 years ago I had a total collapse, had Therapy for about 6 months (I would have stayed longer but she retired) finally told someone of my abuse and told my wife. It took a year but I finally returned to a better place. Then after about 4+ years of my favorite game disassociation it has come back and after suffering for 6 months I finally found a great Therapist and had my fourth appointment today and thus the title of this post, difficult session:

I knew in my first session that she understood and while we nibbled around the edges today we dove into facing my 10yo self to build a framework of understanding around it that I was not equipped to do at that age and have been blaming myself for 50 years. Today opened up some deeply buried thoughts and feelings that I have not dared think or feel. I know this will be a painful process but I guess I have finally decided I would rather know.

Every since I first had Therapy 5 years ago I have felt that it allowed me to function and release pressure but actually created more questions than answers. Now I need to know the answers and hope in time to get there, today was a start.
 

ladee

MyPTSD Pro
Congratulations on picking YOU. And it doesn't matter how long it takes for us to choose ourselves, as long as we eventually get there. Sounds like you have a great T and are willing to do the work. It does make it somewhat easier because you aren't fighting the process.

Keep us updated if you feel like it. Supporting you on this part of your journey. There will always be someone here who understands what you are feeling and why!
 
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