flowerapple
Confident
Hi. I don't know why but I don't cry. I mean I really can't cry. This makes it hard for me because sometimes I really want to cry and I can't, which doesn't sound like a problem, except it just makes me feel even more stuck because I can't even get my tears out. No matter what I do it just won't happen. Watching sad movies and reading to sad stories and listening to sad songs don't help either. I can feel like I want to cry, and I can feel like they are right there in my eyes ready to go, but they just won't flow.
I know it sounds weird. I just end up feeling like a monster because you should be able to cry. Even when I am depressed and I'm having flashbacks and just can't stop thinking about what has happened, I just can't cry, the closest I get is when my nose feeling a tiny bit runny.
The last time I cried was 3 years ago when my grandmother died and again at her funeral. But I had to try so hard for that to happen. I remember looking at everyone else crying and I just felt so bad about myself and jealous at the same time that I was so heartless I couldn't even cry. I had to keep mumbling it under my breath that she was dead before a few tears came out. It's not that I didn't feel bad or miss her, but the tears just wouldn't come.
And I can't remember crying before that, not even when my trauma was happening. I felt sad and wanted to cry, but I never did. I mean maybe I did then, and I just can't remember it because there are some stuff about it that I don't remember but for the most part I didn't.
Anyways, I was just wondering if it's just me who has this problem of not being able to cry, or if other people have the same problem. I tried googling it but I just kept finding things about crying too much. Thanks.
I know it sounds weird. I just end up feeling like a monster because you should be able to cry. Even when I am depressed and I'm having flashbacks and just can't stop thinking about what has happened, I just can't cry, the closest I get is when my nose feeling a tiny bit runny.
The last time I cried was 3 years ago when my grandmother died and again at her funeral. But I had to try so hard for that to happen. I remember looking at everyone else crying and I just felt so bad about myself and jealous at the same time that I was so heartless I couldn't even cry. I had to keep mumbling it under my breath that she was dead before a few tears came out. It's not that I didn't feel bad or miss her, but the tears just wouldn't come.
And I can't remember crying before that, not even when my trauma was happening. I felt sad and wanted to cry, but I never did. I mean maybe I did then, and I just can't remember it because there are some stuff about it that I don't remember but for the most part I didn't.
Anyways, I was just wondering if it's just me who has this problem of not being able to cry, or if other people have the same problem. I tried googling it but I just kept finding things about crying too much. Thanks.