Sufferer Dispatcher with CPTSD

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jstone45lc

New Here
Hi everyone,
I'm new here. I've been suffering with CPTSD for years and didn't know it. Recently diagnose in the last few months. I'm a 24 yr 911 Dispatcher. I have said before I've heard it all, but that's not true. I hear more strange and troubling stuff everyday. I'm so tired, I forgot my meds today. I want to throw up. I didn't want to work another 12 hr shift today, but here I am. The sad part about it is. no one will listen to me. They all know about my PTSD and won't let me take off. I'm out of sick days.
My wife isn't any help. One minute she's all about, "Oh you've had a rough day, why don't you rest." the next minute, "I realize you had a rough shift, but the laundry needs done"
I've started the retirement process. That takes forever. I can only talk to family and friends so much, before they start turning away. I have a good therapist though.
I can't take the yelling anymore. even the sirens are starting to bother me.
Physically I'm falling apart too. I don't know anything else to do, except put in the hands of the Lord Jesus.
 
hello jstone. welcome to the forum. here's to hoping that peer support can make the diff you need to find a better way. as important as spiritual faith is to coping and/or healing, sometimes a body needs a flesh and blood shoulder to lean on. i hope you find that here.

welcome aboard.
 
Hi @jstone45lc

Between dispatch and military crap I ended up going out on disability after 20 years on the floor so I totally get it.

This place has been a lifesaver for me because it's full of people with the same symptoms even if they don't share the same reasons. It helps normalize what I'm going thru, and makes me feel less crazy.

And ya - dispatch won't get it. I've come to realize that it's fear - if it can happen to us it can happen to them. So the best bet is to pretend it's not happening to anyone around them. The problem with that logic is that like it or not ptsd is a real thing. Same with family and friends. They just can't handle it.

But here? In this group? We get it AND we can handle whatever you need to toss out.
So you've found a good place to land 💜💜
 
I'm a 24 yr 911 Dispatcher
Welcome. The fact you made it 24 years of listening to the worst of humanity, is amazing. Trying to help over the phone, tough gig.

Honestly, don't expect others to understand or get PTSD. They can't. Unless you have it, you don't understand it. Its no different than someone with cancer telling your they have it. Unless you've had it, you can't really understand what goes on in the head of someone with cancer, let alone the process of trying to fix it.

PTSD, trauma, same thing. People who have experienced it, who suffer it, can understand it. Don't get frustrated with your wife or co-workers not understanding. The best thing you can do is ask your wife to read one book, just to try and understand a few things, but more to understand how she can help you, without making things worse for your relationship: When Someone You Love Suffers from Posttraumatic Stress: What to Expect and What You Can Do - Zayfert, Claudia, DeViva, Jason C. | 9781609180652 | Amazon.com.au | Books

If she's keen for two books, add: Loving Someone with PTSD: A Practical Guide to Understanding and Connecting with Your Partner after Trauma : Aphrodite T. Matsakis: Amazon.com.au: Books

It can save a hell of a lot of arguments and issues with a partner reading those.

Saying all that, you have to work on you. Your partner is there to support that process, to help you work on you and get back to your normal.
 
It's ok to be honest here.
You won't be judged
You won't be known (anonymity is awesome!)
You won't have to be afraid of sharing -this group can handle it!

It's ok to be here.
It's ok to ask for help
It's ok to let people help you
It's ok to talk about the calls --even the kid ones. Yep - even the kid ones.

You're not on the floor here
You're not recorded so you don't have to mind your words (ya that was a big one for me)
No crisis, no emergencies, no phones or radio crashing in
You have time to breathe, to gather your thoughts, to not have to respond immediately.

It's ok to be here. 💜
 
It's ok to be honest here.
You won't be judged
You won't be known (anonymity is awesome!)
You won't have to be afraid of sharing -this group can handle it!

It's ok to be here.
It's ok to ask for help
It's ok to let people help you
It's ok to talk about the calls --even the kid ones. Yep - even the kid ones.

You're not on the floor here
You're not recorded so you don't have to mind your words (ya that was a big one for me)
No crisis, no emergencies, no phones or radio crashing in
You have time to breathe, to gather your thoughts, to not have to respond immediately.

It's ok to be here. 💜
Thank You

Thanks Everyone
 
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