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Dissociating in therapy

Discussion in 'Treatment & Therapy' started by 0smile0, Jun 6, 2018.

  1. 0smile0

    0smile0 Member

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    I just had a tough session where I dissociated. My therapist didn't seem to notice and I feel kinda let down by that. I told her I have switched off and then she asked me do I remember when I switched off and I am like I am so far gone is it even it worth asking me these questions and then she kept talking and my brain got worse and worse. I was just trying to contain myself and was fidgeting and said nothing or responses to questions I don't even remember. She asked me if I felt criticised and then said I need to tell her to slow down. I was so focused on containing myself I didn't have the strength to tell her to shut the hellup. Before I left I didn't wanna pay her and I felt wobbly, I felt high and drunk.

    Do other peoples therapists know when they are zoning out what do they do and or say when you do.
     
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  3. Sweetleaf

    Sweetleaf Well-Known Member

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    She will say my name, try to get me to keep my eyes open and try to get me to focus on my body, the world around me, and ground and get out of it. She'll also say stuff to remind me that I'm safe, and I'm here and now, and in her office, not in the past.

    She'll also ask me what I was thinking about when that stuff happens.
     
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  4. MrMoonlight

    MrMoonlight I'm a VIP Premium Member

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    My therapist is really aware of my state of being. When we first started seeing each other she pushed me a bit too hard a I want to the "void". She had to yell my name to bring me back. Just the other we were doing some hard work and she reacts quickly when she notices I am being pushes too hard. She is great with me in that way and know I'm lucky.

    I hope you are able to convey to your therapist the situation. Do you think it' something you could speak to them about in a direct manner? Is fidgeting a typical response when you enter that state? Maybe she could look for this if so.?
     
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  5. Sweetleaf

    Sweetleaf Well-Known Member

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    Kinda funny you say that - mine does it pretty loudly, like when you're trying to get someones attention and they aren't hearing you >.< lol
     
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  6. MrMoonlight

    MrMoonlight I'm a VIP Premium Member

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    Yeah exactly @Sweetleaf lol Personally I'm not 100% gone and can hear her faintly call my name but the "void" as I call it is so comfortable, safe sometimes.
     
    Last edited: Jun 6, 2018
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  7. MyWillow

    MyWillow Well-Known Member

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    Yeah I lost 6 months of therapy. Didn’t know what dissociation was. I think my T was gently hinting but I had no memory of having no memory if that makes sense. I think there a lot of reasons why I do it, hence it’s hard to control. Talk about childhood. Gone. Family in the here and now. Drifting FAST. Emotions. Thank you no. Vulnerablity. Definitely not. How much I’m valued at work. I’m out of there.

    It’s bloody exhausting and we have slowed down so so so much.
     
  8. Rumors

    Rumors I'm a VIP

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    It's like a black hole that sucks me in...I see it coming but I can't help but go away. My T notices and usually taps next to me, calls my name, and asks me where I am. Yikes that's hard.. It is like I just put everything and everyone far away.
     
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  9. ShadowWolf

    ShadowWolf New Member

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    At first, no, my therapist couldn't tell my signs that I was disassociating, and so I did it a lot. Now he can tell, and slows down when I start to disassociate. Sometimes I can even tell I'm slipping away, and I can tell him to stop talking, so I can pull myself back to being 'present'.

    Personally I tend to stare off away from his face, my vision starts to blur, and my emotions numb. If I can tell it's coming, I pinch my arm or dig my fingernails into my hands. Not the best mechanism, but my therapist can tell I'm struggling when I do that.

    It has been a lot of work and practice. At first I had zero control over it and no warning. I would just instantly disassociate at seemingly random things.
     
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  10. Harmonics

    Harmonics Member

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    My T knows when I am dissociating. They will slow down if that is what is needed or stop and ask me what I need, or if I am too far gone, they will help me ground. Sometimes I feel like I am under a microscope in there because T watches so closely...but I also know that I need to be present to do the work, so if something triggers me into dissociation, I have to come back.
     
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  11. Missycat

    Missycat Well-Known Member Donated

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    I can understand @0smile0 why you would feel upset /frustrated that your t didnt notice. Have you spoken to them about it? Is there something you can do to let them know its happening.
    My t picked it up straight away, she tells me that my eyes give it away and then she will talk to me but ‘im gone’ - she will say my name (sometimes loudly) to get me back and then do some grounding and anchoring work to keep me grounded. Weve worked together a while so when i sometimes get the ‘aura’ she seems to notice the change too and quickly acts.
    Every client /patient is different so you two can work together for what works for you.

    Sorry @0smile0 i posted too quick !
    My t gave me a signal to use when i felt i was zoning out or i got the aura. She would ask me to hold my finger up and and if i held it towards the side or back of my head this meant i was zoning out and the further out in front of my face the more grounded i felt. This allowed her to know where i was and when we needed to anchor/ ground. As i noted above she could usually tell so she would also ask me to raise my hand/finger and this confirmed it. It was much easier to do this than try and verbalise that i was ‘going’!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 10, 2018
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  12. MyWillow

    MyWillow Well-Known Member

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    I tried the signalling but a) I disappear so quickly, and b) I can’t physically move. It’s so frustrating. The best thing my T does is change the subject entirely. Talking about my dogs is the easiest fix.
     
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  13. 0smile0

    0smile0 Member

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    I defiantly need to talk about it with her and how I felt. I can go as far I wanted you to shut up, I feel like you limit and judge me and I mistrust you. But I want to go further then that and say I feel let down by you because that would give the impression that I care and god forbid I let out an ounce of vunerability.

    I am really sad she didn't try and ground me and instead continued to ask me questions and then went on to book our net appointment, what is that?

    I think there is an element of just wanting to push through it and so I ignore the warning signs which then leads to this, but, I feel like my process is so slow and I am sick of my situation and I am waiting for something to budge.

    Anyway thanks for your replieds. Getting other peoples input is really useful and knowing there are Ts out there who can deal with this stuff and communicate with their patients makes me feel a little less demanding on my own T.
     
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