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Dissociation and migraine

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grit

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Hi folks.
Hope everybody is having a great day.

I am wondering if anyone can help me to differentiate dissociation feelings (comings and goings) and migraine's phases in experiences.

In my teen (I am in 40s now), I used to suffer severe migraines but I aged out of them in my early 20s. Now I am recognizing ...it was not maybe fully aging out but changing to dissociation as a form of a cover for the pain - like painkiller dissociation!
Now I am truly focused on my managing and healing my dissociation (I increased my therapy to focus on this) and I am noticing when I successfully wake up to dissociation and relax my body to manage it or contain it, it changes to severe headache (I am sorry I may be using headache and migraine interchangeably without knowing the real difference scientifically speaking).

Did anyone ever had this experience and willing to share? I am feeling today that I may prefer the headache to the complete dissociation cause I find the post headache is quicker recovery than the post dissociation episode which has always been more motor paralysis for me.

Thank you for any input.
 
Without going to personal on this -

Do you know if there's a difference in what stressors / triggers cause which?

As which causes dissociation, which pain, which both, how does one change into the other, the tipping points & how to ride the wave and direct it one to the other?

IME there's subtle differences in what stress transforms to what in the body.

Q two: What helps you relax *into* the dissociation - ease out, not fight it, ease out the aftermath?

Or, more plain speak - What makes the dissociation more joy when *in it* for you? What's light & fun even when suuper out of it?
 
@Ronin
Thanks Ronin for your indepth questions, I really appreciate...this is why we go to therapy so to benefit from others' input that we do not see ourselves as easily anyways.
Do you know if there's a difference in what stressors / triggers cause which?
my dissociation is triggered in therapy very rapidly in and out - my take is because I was over handled and impinged upon as a child (implicit memory in the body), just the simple interaction with an authority to deal with my inner world is a trigger for me.
As which causes dissociation, which pain, which both, how does one change into the other, the tipping points & how to ride the wave and direct it one to the other? -
in therapy, because I am not alone...I feel that is why I am in and out of it (almost as survival protection...avoid being a sitting duck sort of) so that rapid change makes me have a huge headache. and if I managed to stay conscious in therapy right after dissociation, then I am raging in headpain but I am conscious so I can contain - meaning not dysregulating.
IME there's subtle differences in what stress transforms to what in the body. -
the headache is in my head. dissociation is full body paralysis and short memory negative impact - cannot concentrate or learn or remember - much deeper impact than a headache.
Q two: What helps you relax *into* the dissociation - ease out, not fight it, ease out the aftermath?
This is a long time coping in my life that I was not aware of but I truly accepted myself fully as I am. In psychology, I may be refer to ego-syntonic. I do not have internal conflict of trying to stop the dissociation just extreme curiosity of why and what is causing it today (since I accept what created already). so when I feel dissociation coming in, I verbalize to my husband or at work, I take a break...walk in the park or take a nap in the praying room.
Or, more plain speak - What makes the dissociation more joy when *in it* for you? What's light & fun even when suuper out of it?
It is not that dissociation is more joy (far from that), it is that I accepted the dissociation as part of me rather than outside of me...so I did not nor do fight it...like create internal conflict. Now answering your question, I realize, perhaps I am calm within because I externalize my pain to the therapy....this is actually a great recognition for me as I type. During dissociation, if I am in a safe space, like home, I tell my husband, I am going to lay low. He knows it so he accepts as well. Where maybe in therapy, they do not accept the laying low (this sounds projection now) and want me to verbalize - which again does not land on me any different than my mom pushing milk into my mouth!

Hope this makes sense Ronin. Thank you so much for taking time to explore this with me.
 
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So suuper simplified...

Confrontation X Avoidance
Fight × Freeze
Face the fear x Cover & Hide from it
Headache × Dissociation

Aka your *head* hurts if you face what you're triggered by, pardon the pun, head-on...

Your *whole body* hurts & hides the pain on all levels it can... aka harder to snap out of as busy busy, hiding here ;) can't just come out on request ;)

Is that anywhere near accurate / right reading of what you just said? :)
 
Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am speechless!

Thank you for the bottom of my heart! yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel like saying love you...and hope it is not inappropriate! yes! Headon! fight or freeze..face or hide it!
THANK YOU!
 
:)

That love is appreciated, but it was *your* realizations and descriptions of what's up - I just grabbed highlighters and pointed if I'm reading right. :bookworm: :tup:
 
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