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Dissociation......how do you come back and focus?

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I love the 5 senses technique.

I also use scent or touch alone. Touch : hot drink/ cold touch can be good. Note disassociation and drinks can result in not quite getting the mouth I find, so be wary of this perhaps? I drink hot tea and have a glass of water on me pretty much all day.

Also, I have just accepted a reputation as a daydreamer. It’s a funny alternative for someone hyper vigilant.?

That's cute....I've accepted the label...."somewhat eccentric/loopy".......different is different, but daydreamer and loopy......are much more positive descriptions than that person with X mental health label.
 
First, my history. 69 years old, married 24 years, experienced verbal/emotional abuse from wife, who has psych problems & alcohol addiction, which runs in her family. Treatment resistant rapid cycling mixed state bipolar & C-PTSD. For several years I'd been feeling disconnected from the world and my life and from my research, came to realize that I have C-PTSD(confirmed by a therapist and my primary, both Army veterans). My life blew up in my face when my bipolar illness, which had been in remission for 12 years, reoccurred in 2004. Could no longer work full time, then part time became difficult after a few years. Became dependent on my wife for a roof over my head. Sleep also became non-restorative. Did qualify for SSDI in 2011, which became regular Social Security when I turned 65.

Life just hurt(s) all the time, so several years ago I began to disassociate/disconnect. My sense of humor diminished, as well as finding pleasure in anything. Our love life ended 10 years ago because for years my wife kept telling me how she had no interest in sex. That's my story and I'm still working with a psychiatrist and two progressive physicians. My life, now, is being my own lab rat, as I try to repair physical damage, as well as trying to understand how to heal the emotional wounds.
 
I usually snap back in the middle of conversations. It's not something I can control really. I'll just suddenly be back in the middle of a conversation and realize I haven't heard a thing they've been saying to me. At that point I desperately hang on every word trying to pick up what I've lost.
I try to not feel bad when I need to get away and take a breath. It's still difficult and sometimes family things are cut short because I hit my limit.
I sort of deal with it by accepting I'm going to have to deal with it. Sometimes it makes me so sad I cry but that's okay. If there's multiple family events in a short time I usually don't go to them all. That kind of sucks too. But I am what I am and I have to accept that.
It always be hard but, it did get better. I am able to spend more time with my loved ones now than I used to.
 
Sense of smell helps me. I keep an olbas oil inhaler in my handbag for when I feel particularly foggy and want almost a jolt back to now.

And I spray my favourite perfume on the back of my hand when I'm going to be out and about or in a situation like you describe.

So that way I can smell the back of my hand fairly unobtrusively when I need a comfort / bringing back to the present kind of thing.
This sounds great-like a big help!
 
Realizing he severity of my dissociation has been a major thing for me lately because i am newly diagnosed. Before i knew what it was, really was, i called it “slipping away” Like if things were too much for me emotionally, like if i got a trigger...i would just float up out of my body and that time and memory would be gone from my consciousness. It started as a defense mechanism with my early childhood trauma. Its been a real struggle for me lately to “stay inside” myself. Today I had a heavy moment with my husband. I felt myself starting to slip out of muself. It was a lot for me to handle. But i was able to pull my rosary out of my purse to keep grounded. At first i was just squeezing the rough metal cross. i could feel myself pulling myself back in. I had to yank hard on myself to keep from leaving. I was squeezing the cross until it bit into my hand a little and that reminded me that i was in the hear and now. Then i was able to just squeeze the beads and feel their smoothness. I kept alternating between the smooth beads and the roughness of the metal cross. That seemed to help. Any body else struggle with floating away? What do u do to help yourself?
 
A recent thing that I've found really helpful is the Dropping Anchor thing from Acceptance and Commitment therapy. I do it every morning when I wake up, and gradually I'm.finding that at other times of the day I'm more likely to remember it's an option.

I find it really helpful to bring me into the here and now without setting off the panic I sometimes feel with other kinds of mindfulness. I think, because it keeps on moving your focus from thoughts, to feelings, to the body, to what's around you, there isn't the silence that enables all the stuff we try to keep down to flood your awareness.

And like I say, the daily practise is slowly seeping into my awareness at other times of the day. So I'll be able to say ah! I can do this, quickly notice my thoughts, feelings, move my body, and be aware of things around me.

Is really simple and effective.
 
What do u do to help yourself?

I was the same. I used to call it the lovely fog. I would "feel my feet on the ground" and think ground and center. I love what you did though. I would like to use beads too, although I am no longer Catholic, I respect your religion and I love how you used it to ground yourself. Beautiful!
 
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Thank you so much Berlinda! I tried these exercises from your link and they really helped me. I will be using them again and my goal is to be able to drop anchor when ever i need
 
I have a few strategies that depend on context.

Sometimes if I fight it, it will only get worse, so letting it happen is my best bet. Interestingly, people don’t notice. They just see me as being quiet. I think I’ve mastered the look of paying attention when I’m really not taking much in. Then it will pass on its own.

As others said too, it can be a nice feeling and kind of welcome if the alternative is overwhelm.

Other times, I try to redirect my attention either externally or internally to trigger a cue that will activate a different part of my brain that then can engage and block out whatever the issue was.
 
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Realizing he severity of my dissociation has been a major thing for me lately because i am newly diagnosed. Before i knew what it was, really was, i called it “slipping away” Like if things were too much for me emotionally, like if i got a trigger...i would just float up out of my body and that time and memory would be gone from my consciousness. It started as a defense mechanism with my early childhood trauma. Its been a real struggle for me lately to “stay inside” myself. Today I had a heavy moment with my husband. I felt myself starting to slip out of muself. It was a lot for me to handle. But i was able to pull my rosary out of my purse to keep grounded. At first i was just squeezing the rough metal cross. i could feel myself pulling myself back in. I had to yank hard on myself to keep from leaving. I was squeezing the cross until it bit into my hand a little and that reminded me that i was in the hear and now. Then i was able to just squeeze the beads and feel their smoothness. I kept alternating between the smooth beads and the roughness of the metal cross. That seemed to help. Any body else struggle with floating away? What do u do to help yourself?

I identify what the trigger is and then I excuse myself if I am in company, and they are the trigger, to go to the bathroom....it is a safe space with the door locked and I can be alone. Splashing cold water on my face, and breathing is helpful. Grounding in a safe place.....for me is the best.....where no one will interrupt the process.

On trips, I tried peppermint candy.....and that worked very well......but that part of me that loves sweets......loved peppermint candy too much. I can eat it nonstop....LOL. So, after one day being overzealous and eating 40 peppermints in a day.....I gave that up.

Then I tried low cal fruit popsicles......cold....very grounding. In the winter, when I can just step right outside without a coat...quicker and ..cheaper than peppermint and popsicles. I also keep a candle in the bathroom and light it if I'm having difficulty getting back.....smell, in combination with cold, and breathing helps to get me back to the here and now.

Breathing in and then out much more slowly helps get oxygen to the brain and that helps grounding.....for 5-10 min. This is free, too.

A fast walk in the cold listening to a song on my Iphone....another option when getting out of the house is helpful.

And then there are diversions....several 25 cal. fruit popsicles and a kids tame movie will change the visual focus, the popsicles and changing activities......also works well.

When I can't leave.....I feel things, look for things in the room that are a certain color, breath in the process, then listen for all of the sounds, stand and feel my feet firmly planted-without balance issues before I start moving.
 
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