Chem Lady
Confident
In the last year or so I started imagining someone in my life who loved and liked me. I found it was really nice to imagine someone saying nice things to me, being proud of me, and caring about me. My parents have never really cared about me (my mom is BPD and my dad is and was completely emotionally unavailable), my siblings have followed in my parents foot steps, and, like a regular abused child, I married a narcissist. I have no one who I can say truly loves me. People have told me to love myself, but I’m far from being in a place where I can do that. So, I imagine that someone does. I’m very aware this person doesn’t exist, but I find it helps me feel good about myself and it helps me build confidence and value. It just seems like a strange thing to do as an adult. I’m curious if anyone else does this.