Undiagnosed Do i have cptsd

Victim1

New Here
I was sexually abused a lot of times from my father
A lot of times it’s popping in my brain
At young age I had fantasies of people like teachers in my class abusing me sexually and doing the same thing that my father did.
At young age after the the abuse stopped I stated touching myself and positioning myself like I am getting f*cked by him.
At young age I also touched classmates private areas and trying to like redoing the things that happened
Now I know more how to control myself
But still have the memories and in my private time re doing the trauma on myself.
Do you think I suffer from cptsd?

**And also why do you think
I want to learn why I doing this things plz?
 
Last edited by a moderator:
And also why do you think
I want to learn why I doing this things plz?
I am not a therapist but I do have cptsd and know a decent amount about it. First off, what happened to you was WRONG. And please keep in mind that it was in no way YOUR fault. As far as cptsd, symptoms include: feeling guilty, ashamed, disgusted with yourself, feeling as if you have no value and replaying the trauma over and over in your mind. Reliving it, and can’t seem to stop reliving it. I would guess this is what is happening to you.
Unfortunately, cptsd does not have a clinical diagnosis at this time and falls under the ptsd category. But it is incredibly different in so many ways.
I congratulate you. You took the first step. You bravely reached out for help. It is not easy to talk about abuse, but that is one of the first steps to healing, and most times the most difficult. My suggestion is to find a support group. There are many online ones and you don’t have to show your face or even talk. But for me I found great comfort in finding out I was not alone. And that I was not a “defective” person. I was a victim, just like you. And in groups, just even sharing the same space (virtual or in person) with other victims brought me much comfort.
Just remember, you are not alone and you are not defective. You are a normal person with a normal brain which, unfortunately, was wired in an abusive fashion when you were young. That is why you are having these feelings and doing these actions.
 

Victim1

New Here
I am not a therapist but I do have cptsd and know a decent amount about it. First off, what happened to you was WRONG. And please keep in mind that it was in no way YOUR fault. As far as cptsd, symptoms include: feeling guilty, ashamed, disgusted with yourself, feeling as if you have no value and replaying the trauma over and over in your mind. Reliving it, and can’t seem to stop reliving it. I would guess this is what is happening to you.
Unfortunately, cptsd does not have a clinical diagnosis at this time and falls under the ptsd category. But it is incredibly different in so many ways.
I congratulate you. You took the first step. You bravely reached out for help. It is not easy to talk about abuse, but that is one of the first steps to healing, and most times the most difficult. My suggestion is to find a support group. There are many online ones and you don’t have to show your face or even talk. But for me I found great comfort in finding out I was not alone. And that I was not a “defective” person. I was a victim, just like you. And in groups, just even sharing the same space (virtual or in person) with other victims brought me much comfort.
Just remember, you are not alone and you are not defective. You are a normal person with a normal brain which, unfortunately, was wired in an abusive fashion when you were young. That is why you are having these feelings and doing these actions.
Thank you very much
 

Sideways

Moderator
Welcome to the forum - I'm sorry you have reason to be here.

No one here can diagnose you with anything. And the thing about experiencing traumatic events, even multiple traumatic events, is if they do, in fact, cause a mental illness, ptsd is only one of many different illnesses they can cause.

But here's the thing: you don't need the diagnosis to deserve help. So, if you aren't working with a therapist to help you overcome the immense distress that trauma can cause, do that. Reach out to a qualified therapist for support and help. You deserve to feel better about yourself, irrespective of your diagnosis.
 
Welcome to the forum - I'm sorry you have reason to be here.

No one here can diagnose you with anything. And the thing about experiencing traumatic events, even multiple traumatic events, is if they do, in fact, cause a mental illness, ptsd is only one of many different illnesses they can cause.

But here's the thing: you don't need the diagnosis to deserve help. So, if you aren't working with a therapist to help you overcome the immense distress that trauma can cause, do that. Reach out to a qualified therapist for support and help. You deserve to feel better about yourself, irrespective of your diagnosis.
I would like to say, if you are going to go to a therapist, do your research and make sure they are trained in cptsd, not just ptsd. Lots of us cptsd survivors have spent a lot of money and wasted a lot of recovery time due to ineffective therapy that was not designed for cptsd. Also, I would recommend a group first. It’s usually free and it’s a hell of a lot easier to talk to other survivors at first, and you don’t have worry about being judged by an unfamiliar therapist. Baby steps. :)
 

Agita Kaput

Policy Enforcement
Sponsor
I would like to say, if you are going to go to a therapist, do your research and make sure they are trained in cptsd, not just ptsd. Lots of us cptsd survivors have spent a lot of money and wasted a lot of recovery time due to ineffective therapy that was not designed for cptsd. Also, I would recommend a group first. It’s usually free and it’s a hell of a lot easier to talk to other survivors at first, and you don’t have worry about being judged by an unfamiliar therapist. Baby steps. :)
time due to ineffective therapy that was not designed for cptsd

And what is therapy designed for us?
Dick Schwartz - IFS
 

OliveJewel

MyPTSD Pro
if you are going to go to a therapist, do your research and make sure they are trained in cptsd, not just ptsd.
While it’s nice to feel like we have the best, this advice is impractical and improbable for many of us due to numerous variables, including the fact that most T’s are booked solid from pandemic and political crap.
therapy that was not designed for cptsd

And what is therapy designed for us?
Dick Schwartz - IFS
IFS is helpful but know that a good T is willing to learn about different modes to support the client.

By and large it’s the personal connection that makes a difference in outcome, not the mode of therapy. Mine is an addiction counselor but guess what often goes hand in hand with addiction? Csa and other traumas.

Not to derail the thread but there’s just not one perfect type of therapy, and in the beginning sometimes it’s enough to get through the door without worrying that it’s the perfect one. Plenty of so called expert trauma therapists have wasted clients’ time and money for numerous reasons. If the perfect mode existed then it would be a straightforward process for everyone to recover.
 
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