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Do I have it?

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RainyDay

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I know that I should speak to my doctor, but after a recent episode I find myself curious. I self-diagnosed myself with PTSD last year and am wondering if I was right? (Don't worry, I will speak with my doctor, but I wanted to see if it would be worth the visit.)

Throughout the summer of 2018 I was sexually harassed by an older male co-worker. When another woman spoke up that October against the same guy I decided to add my voice and share my interactions with this man. Now, maybe I was already in an emotionally vulnerable state because my grandpa had passed the month before and I'd very recently (literally like 2 weeks previous) lost an important person in my life (a good friend I'd had since I was 12, who had a big influence on my life).

Needless to say, over the course of the two week HR investigation it came out that this guy was a registered sex offender and the other woman quit. I don't know how her meetings with HR went but mine were somewhat bullying. It got to the point that my anxiety would skyrocket at seeing the HR woman's van in the parking lot. I even asked my manager and assistant manager if they could sit in on the meetings if I requested (these 2 men actually came to be my super support system during this whole ordeal). In the end I sat across from the HR woman and a guy I'd known my entire 7yrs on the job and was told I lied about all of it. All I can truly recall about that day is walking out of that meeting and making it to my car in tears and calling my mom.

Most people might have quit, but I refused to be chased away from a job I actually otherwise enjoyed. Thankfully, my manager did everything he could to keep me and this man apart and he was quite stellar at it. The months after this I became depressed. Stopped keeping up with friends, doing the things I'm passionate about, etc. I'd go to work, come home and watch TV until I fell asleep. It wasn't until March/April of last year when my manager went on vacation that I realized something more was wrong with me. My harasser showed up at work on a day I was guaranteed I'd never have to work with him again (this was the one day of the week it was easiest for him to harass me) and I had a complete emotional breakdown. Right there in the office, tears and all.

Speaking with a friend I self-diagnosed PTSD. It was the only thing that fit my depression, avoidance, inability to focus, etc. I spoke with my manager upon his return and he was visibly upset with himself for forgetting that guy wasn't meant to ever work on that day. He is the ONLY one at my job who knows about the PTSD.

So it's been about a year now and I've experienced a few episodes, for lack of a better word. Much like this last Friday. I wound up leaving work in tears due to an incident and spent the day on the couch fighting the urge to just sleep, completely unable to focus on anything important.

Now, like I said, I will speak with my doctor, but is there something here to bring up? Am I right, is it possible I've been suffering from PTSD?

Thanks to anyone who bothered to read all of this.
 
Hi,

While I can empathize with your struggles, self diagnosis is not a reliable way to go around health worries.

All of what you mention would be well explainable by a number of MH disorders - as well as no disorder present whatsoever, and it being a normal reaction to abusive and stressful situation.

The absence of diagnosis doesn't mean your distress is unreal or not requiring help. You absolutely deserve care.

But in what direction does that care need to be pointed, that is for a qualified diagnostician to determine.
 
None of us are qualified to diagnose you. You aren't qualified to diagnose yourself either. There are many, many mental conditions that share the same symptoms as PTSD.

You should see someone who IS qualified to diagnose you. A psychiatrist, for example, would be able to do so.
 
It’s probably unethical that you told your employers that you have a medical disorder that you’ve never actually been diagnosed with.

I say this as (at least in the USA) PTSD gets you ADA accommodations. It’s crucial to go through the necessary steps and not just say “I have PTSD, accommodate me because I say so!”’

Please, anyone reading, don’t tell others you have ptsd until diagnosed by a medical professional.
 
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