Do I have ptsd?

Ali1991

New Here
I'm a guy who was bullied for every day during my high school ten years ago that left me broken for a long time. However, I was able to recover on my own without any medication and by changing myself.

I was very careful and always prefered to be alone rather than engage with other people. As careful as I was, I couldn't avoid some douchebag in my new workplace there was some misunderstanding that ended in him literally slapping my face in a physical assault manner. He is a drug addict and alcoholic so I know he couldn't get any lower.



That happened 3 years ago and I have to see him every time at work and sometimes tolerate him when he passively insults me.



I'm losing interest in my life every day passes and always trying to find something positive about my life that stops me from turning into a murder. One year ago I couldn't stop the flashbacks and I ended up in the hospital with BP readings of 160/110. He may have slapped me onetime, but he also scratched a surface that covered a lot of awful memories.



Now every bad memory that ever happened to me since I was a child is always recurring. Every day I have flashbacks of my past traumas.



Is it too late for me to recover? The only thing that gives me hope is the idea of vengeance. 3 years and counting since that incident and I still fantasies of vengeance.
 

Friday

Moderator
No one here can diagnose you... even those who could Dx in real life wouldn’t be so reckless and unethical as to attempt to diagnose off of a couple of paragraphs, with no physical to rule out medical conditions, no history, no knowing you as an individual first hand, etc.. Meanwhile the rest of us? Pfft. Can’t diagnose anyone at any time. We’re, all of us, just people on the internet / anonymous peer support online.

That said? Bullying in and of itself won’t cause PTSD, the same way marriage, summer camp, church, or playing sports won’t cause PTSD. Life threatening abuse, assault, sexual assault, etc. that may happen during bullying / marriage / etc. would be the thing that may make PTSD possible. Even so? Roughly 80% of people experience what’s known as “criterion A” trauma during their lives, but only about 20% of people go on to develop PTSD.

Which doesn’t mean that people don’t develop real & very serious problems from bullying/ marriage/ summer camp/ church/ playing sports etc. even if it’s not PTSD. Sometimes it’s other disorder and conditions, sometimes it’s “just” a profoundly life shaping event/series of events. Because “just” & “profound” in the same sentence is exactly as ridiculous as it sounds.

So is it POSSIBLE that you’ve developed PTSD from being bullied? It would depend on what happened. But what’s absolutely for sure is that you’ve experienced something that has had a profound effect on your life.

Whether it’s PTSD or not doesn’t really matter. It’s had an effect on your life, that you would like to change.

Seeing a professional who can help guide you through those steps to changing your life, and diagnose if need be, would seem to be the next step?
 

Mach123

MyPTSD Pro
I’ll vote for yes, not to diagnosis but because I was very like how you describe. The morbidity or pathology of unhappiness. This ended for me in suicidal depression.

When I finally addressed this as a condition and tried to do something about it was the beginning of getting better.

In my case there was childhood sexual abuse, but I had to discover that. I hope you are able to get with a therapist. Thanks for your post .
 
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