I'm a guy who was bullied for every day during my high school ten years ago that left me broken for a long time. However, I was able to recover on my own without any medication and by changing myself.
I was very careful and always prefered to be alone rather than engage with other people. As careful as I was, I couldn't avoid some douchebag in my new workplace there was some misunderstanding that ended in him literally slapping my face in a physical assault manner. He is a drug addict and alcoholic so I know he couldn't get any lower.
That happened 3 years ago and I have to see him every time at work and sometimes tolerate him when he passively insults me.
I'm losing interest in my life every day passes and always trying to find something positive about my life that stops me from turning into a murder. One year ago I couldn't stop the flashbacks and I ended up in the hospital with BP readings of 160/110. He may have slapped me onetime, but he also scratched a surface that covered a lot of awful memories.
Now every bad memory that ever happened to me since I was a child is always recurring. Every day I have flashbacks of my past traumas.
Is it too late for me to recover? The only thing that gives me hope is the idea of vengeance. 3 years and counting since that incident and I still fantasies of vengeance.
I was very careful and always prefered to be alone rather than engage with other people. As careful as I was, I couldn't avoid some douchebag in my new workplace there was some misunderstanding that ended in him literally slapping my face in a physical assault manner. He is a drug addict and alcoholic so I know he couldn't get any lower.
That happened 3 years ago and I have to see him every time at work and sometimes tolerate him when he passively insults me.
I'm losing interest in my life every day passes and always trying to find something positive about my life that stops me from turning into a murder. One year ago I couldn't stop the flashbacks and I ended up in the hospital with BP readings of 160/110. He may have slapped me onetime, but he also scratched a surface that covered a lot of awful memories.
Now every bad memory that ever happened to me since I was a child is always recurring. Every day I have flashbacks of my past traumas.
Is it too late for me to recover? The only thing that gives me hope is the idea of vengeance. 3 years and counting since that incident and I still fantasies of vengeance.