1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Do i still have ptsd?

Discussion in 'General' started by rosali, Jun 14, 2018.

  1. rosali

    rosali New Member

    5
    6
    3
    I was diagnosed with ptsd when I was five. I just turned twenty two this month. I was raped and abused by my father from ages 2 or 3 (My therapist and my mother couldn't tell when it exactly started) -5. My abuse stopped when my brother spoke up. My brother then went on to abuse me (he was also abused by my father) until I was 7, until I decided to say something.

    I feel like I'm always stressed with anxiety but I just don't know it. I've had times where I've been in major stress inducing situations and I'm calm as can be but hives appear on the side of my face. Once in high school during exams, my whole body broke out into hives. That was the first time my body had hives, and it was stress induced because I'm not allergic to anything. They didn't itch unless I thought about it. But I didn't know I was stressed. So now anytime I have hives appear on my face is my q. (any one else experience this by the way?)

    I went through counseling for a couple of years from my first therapist then she moved away. I was taken out of counseling and put back in about three times over. I feel like I wasn't given the help I needed. I had to figure out why I acted a certain way by the power of google. Example: My mother was always around during the time of my abuse. I avoided her and didn't talk to her for six months. I would act aloof. I never knew avoidance was apart of ptsd.

    During that same time was my final therapist, who said that nothing was wrong with me and I didn't have ptsd. Does ptsd go away? Do I still have ptsd?
     
    Sweetleaf likes this.
  2. Register to participate in live chat, PTSD discussion and more.
  3. EveHarrington

    EveHarrington _______ in progress. Premium Member

    9,528
    21,902
    11,538
    Only a professional can determine if you still qualify for a PTSD diagnosis.
     
    tin-man, Sietz and Sweetleaf like this.
  4. rosali

    rosali New Member

    5
    6
    3
    Thanks for the reply, I didn't know if it was a thing that went away or not.
     
    tin-man, Sietz and Sweetleaf like this.
  5. EveHarrington

    EveHarrington _______ in progress. Premium Member

    9,528
    21,902
    11,538
    It can go into remission where you don’t experience symptoms. Or you can fall below the threshold and not have enough symptoms to qualify for the full blown disorder.
     
    Sietz, rosali and Sweetleaf like this.
  6. rosali

    rosali New Member

    5
    6
    3
    I still experience anxiety. I've had anxiety attacks since I was eight, I'd pace back and fourth. My first panic attack, I had no clue what a panic attack was. All I kept saying to my mother was that I felt like I was going to die. And I cried myself to sleep. They went away for a while. Now they only come back when I feel threatened or I'm convinced I'm going to die of something. (I'm poor and I don't have insurance and I can be delusional over health issues) And I don't like people in my personal space. And I don't like loud noises, I flinch if sounds are out of no where.

    If I have too much anxiety I can't eat. My appetite just disappears. I think I might be depressed also, because I sleep too much sometimes with out intending it. I know this all has to be diagnosed, I guess I'm just talking about it at this point?

    Sorry if it's too much.
     
    tin-man and Sweetleaf like this.
  7. Sweetleaf

    Sweetleaf Well-Known Member

    816
    2,852
    633
    It's only been 6 months since the end of my trauma, almost on the dot (a little after 6 months by just days) - but I -cling- to the idea that, this shit can totally go into remission and your symptoms can improve to the point that you no longer fit the requirements for a PTSD diagnosis - which is f*cking wonderful. I want to reach that point so badly. I want to be like "lol nope I don't have PTSD" and have it -not- be denial but objective fact.

    What I think would be beneficial for you, is to see another professional about it - a theapist, a psych, whatever. Someone qualified in dealing with trauma, whatever the letters after their name are. See what they have to say. Also, if you still feel bothered by things, PTSD or not it would be wise to get some help with it all.

    Do you feel like it's still bothering you? Do you feel like they were wrong when they said you don't have PTSD anymore?

    This makes me think it definitely would be wise for you to see someone who is trauma-specialized about all this. Especially considering you don't feel like you were given the help you needed.
     
    tin-man and somerandomguy like this.
  8. Sweetleaf

    Sweetleaf Well-Known Member

    816
    2,852
    633
    Didn't see this post when I wrote my last one.

    You should definitely see someone trauma specialized, and get some help in getting rid of these issues you're mentioning. People issues, personal space issues, all these things can be addressed in therapy. You should seek some more out, I hope you can find someone who is good and will work well with you, if you do.
     
    rosali and somerandomguy like this.
  9. rosali

    rosali New Member

    5
    6
    3
    I hope you recover soon. It's really weird. I never got justice for the things that happened to me. Nor for the things that happened to my brother. None of us got justice. After abusing me, my brother went to juvy and got help. But talking about it again, I've been *remembering* things again. I've had reoccurring intruding memories. I just learned about body memories. (Which can explain a few other things in my life) I felt like my mother didn't really *know* all of what truly went on too. I remember being at the water park and being fondled by my father AND almost drowning that day. And I spoke about that to my mother, and she was shocked. "You almost drowned?!? When did this happen?" I feel like I was probably so traumatized, I probably kept things in??

    It bothered me. It felt like I wasn't believed. I stat there and was like "why am I here then?". I can't remember everything from that time period. It was when I was 14 /15. One thing I DO remember is repeatedly stating that I felt like my childhood was ripped from me. I remember feeling like a child, and wanting to play with play doh and legos. And I was always very embarrassed by this. I felt like my trauma became all that I was, What was normal? I didn't know what normal was and I never knew.

    I'm seeking help now, my therapist is just out of office and I really wanted to ask this question before the month was over. I think I maybe recalled asking her the question?? I just didn't remember the answer. My memory is super spotty.
     
  10. rosali

    rosali New Member

    5
    6
    3
    Yes, I will Franz. I hadn't seen a therapist in a good 4/5 years, after the last one : )
     
Loading...
Show Sidebar