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Do you ever feel like people use your ptsd against you?

Discussion in 'General' started by Faith Andrews, Jun 14, 2018.

  1. Faith Andrews

    Faith Andrews My talent: pretending that I'm okay everyday Premium Member Donated

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    I’m having a really bad night/week and I feel so alone.

    For the 3rd time this week my PTSD has been thrown in my face.

    1st I was made to leave a get together at a neighbors because someone thought I looked like I may break down! It was a miracle I was there in the first place and I would have left if I was struggling. I was actually enjoying myself for once. I feel guilty even saying it but it’s true.

    2nd I have short term memory issues so I ask for texts or email so I can go back and reference. Someone close to me lied and used this as a weapon. The text confirmed it. Broke my heart.

    3rd I was told people were going to surprise me tonight for my birthday (someone told me so I could prepare and not freak out). I’ve been preparing mentally all day and forced a shower and was looking forward to it but I guess they changed their minds.

    I know I’m being so selfish and having a pity party. I just feel alone and sad.
     
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  3. littleoc

    littleoc Making everywhere I go a better place Premium Member Donated

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    (Happy birthday!!!!)

    I have had PTSD used against me once by a person who wasn't so well himself. Or herself. This doesn't quite look that way to me, though I am only going off of what you said here.

    It does sound like people aren't treating you fairly, though, maybe based off the PTSD but maybe not. And it sounds like you're trying really damn hard, and trying to make everything work, only to have people seem to make it more difficult, whether they mean to or not.

    That first thing is really upsetting to me, though. If you were enjoying yourself, then there wasn't a reason for someone to come in and tell you that you should leave. (Did I understand that correctly?) I personally am really impressed that you managed to go out and have fun.

    I'm sorry all of this is going on. And I think the second person is pretty rude, regardless of if he was using PTSD against you or not. Sounds to me more like it was gaslighting.

    Many hugs to you :hug: Take it easy
     
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  4. Faith Andrews

    Faith Andrews My talent: pretending that I'm okay everyday Premium Member Donated

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    @littleoc thank you so much!

    Yes the 1st thing has bothered me the worst for sure. It was my first event in FOREVER! That is what hurt the most. And it was someone very close to me. I can’t wrap my brain around it.

    I really appreciate you responding. You made me feel better.
     
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  5. Suzetig

    Suzetig Still the Staff Kitteh... Moderator Sponsor $100+

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    PTSD or not those things would be hurtful, and they’re all things that folk can do to someone who doesn’t have PTSD. You have every right to be angry, hurt and upset because people have been rude, dishonest and disrespectful.

    I suppose you at least know how these people are now and can pull yourself out of those relationships (or set very clear boundaries) so they can’t do it again. It sucks when people let you down.
     
  6. Faith Andrews

    Faith Andrews My talent: pretending that I'm okay everyday Premium Member Donated

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    @Suzetig Very true. It’s just before my PTSD I didn’t have memory problems, loved surprises, and no one ever thought I would break down or panic.

    Thanks for responding.
     
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  7. Suzetig

    Suzetig Still the Staff Kitteh... Moderator Sponsor $100+

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    Yep, I get how you feel people are using it against you - PTSD can feel like the gift that keeps on giving.
     
  8. EveHarrington

    EveHarrington _______ in progress. Premium Member

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    Sadly when we go through trials in life, it illuminates who we should and should not have in our life. It highlights the negative qualities in others that have remained hidden. On the other hand, it can confirm which friends are quality friends as well, if they react in positive ways.

    It may mean letting go of old friends and finding new ones.
     
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  9. Fadeaway

    Fadeaway I'm a VIP Donated

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    Happy birthday, and yes that has happened to me too. You did a great job trying to prepare yourself and I know how it is when you plan for nothing.
     
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  10. EveHarrington

    EveHarrington _______ in progress. Premium Member

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    I must say, the birthday stuff is just cruel!

    Drop these people.....like yesterday.
     
  11. Faith Andrews

    Faith Andrews My talent: pretending that I'm okay everyday Premium Member Donated

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    Thanks Eve!

    Thank you so much!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 15, 2018
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  12. Freida

    Freida Been There, Done That, Lived to Tell the Story Premium Member

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    Happy Birthday!!!

    This is NOT TRUE. You are not being selfish or having a pity party. You are sad that people you trusted have turned on you and are treating you differently because of something that happened to you. You have ptsd - which means you have changed. Instead of being understanding, they are reacting in the worst possible way. And that is plenty of reason to be sad.

    I am very happy that you told us so we can be with you and let you know that you aren't alone. And I agree it's time to move on to better friends....
     
  13. Neverthesame

    Neverthesame A Mind The Dead Have Ravaged Premium Member Donated

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    Happy birthday!
    As such, you are entitled to whatever kind of party you want.
    Surprise party or pity party, doesn't matter. Heck, you can have a Tupperware party if it tickles your fancy.
    :p
     
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