Poll Do you have trouble saying no?

Do you have trouble saying no?

  • Yes, I have trouble saying no.

    Votes: 17 40.5%
  • No, I have no problem saying no.

    Votes: 4 9.5%
  • Sometimes I have a problem saying no.

    Votes: 10 23.8%
  • Most of the time I have a problem saying no.

    Votes: 10 23.8%
  • Most of the time I have little problem saying no.

    Votes: 5 11.9%
  • I don't know, I never thought about it.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Other (please explain)

    Votes: 2 4.8%

  • Total voters
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Is saying "No." difficult for you? Or is it easy? Or somewhere in between? Maybe you never thought about it. Maybe only under certain situations you have trouble saying it.

Whatever problem(s) you have with saying "No." or whatever things you have no problem saying "No" about, I would like to read about it.

Please feel free to explain your answer(s) below.

Deleted member 28403

Had quite a bit of problem, getting better at it.


My T brought this up recently. We were discussing about my overload - work, volunteer, home etc and she scribbled on a piece of paper then held it up:

N O in huge letters.

Yeah. May be struggling with this...

Deleted member 40995

Struggle with it a lot, no is hard for me not sure if it’s because I’m afraid of being hurt for saying no or abandoned by friends for saying no, just know that when I said no or disagreed with my abuser there were negative consequences he’d get very upset so “no” wasn’t a safe answer


I answered yes, and then I answered "Other" too, because I sometimes have trouble saying "No." to myself too. Like, for instance, eating too many chips, when I know I need to lose weight. Or buying something I don't need, when my budget is stretched to the limit. Yup. I sure have a problem saying "No." in a lot of instances in my life.

Struggle with it a lot, no is hard for me not sure if it’s because I’m afraid of being hurt for say...
I had this problem with my abuser too, so that is why I made this poll, I had a feeling I would not be alone in this.
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The incident that triggered my ptsd; He knee I couldn’t say no. He was one of only two people who knew I had had CSA and that I was ‘vulnerable ‘ to certain things. He exploited them.

What I find in other aspects of life is I might say ‘no’ when I want to say maybe or ‘yes’ because I do not want to get drawn in it committed and feel unable to change my mind in situations.

Tornadic Thoughts

I'm a recovering people pleaser who is much more comfortable saying no now than I've ever been. I can say it to others much more easily than I can say it to myself, but even that's improving the more I unlearn and re-learn.

I'd been taught all of my life that in order to have good things come to me or ultimately end up in the supposed heavenly space after I leave this existence, I had to tirelessly do good for others....mission believed and accepted....and I tried like hell to do all I could for all the people i could....often forgetting about self.

Similar to @Fadeaway 's crash and burn experience, many times over, it took taking myself down and out of commission to be able to see it all for what it was. I also felt I had to explain why I was saying no, too, but finally realize it's a complete sentence and needs no further dialogue.

Deleted member 19804

I voted "most of the time I have a problem saying no" . It's especially hard for me when someone I care about asks me for something. I have no trouble standing up for others, but standing up for myself is a whole other story.
Im a Little different in regards to saying no. It takes me a while to get to that stage, but once I’m at the stage where I say no, it’s a definite no. And you aren’t going to make me budge for a second.

So I’m a pushover until I break. Then there’s nothing coming from me.


I struggle badly with no. I feel so much guilt if I say no so I end up doing so much stuff I have no interest in! I have an amazing very supportive husband who I am
With 8 years.. I have never said no to sex. He will say to me are you sure and is not pushy at all but I cannot bring myself to say no.

I’m just out of my T’s now and this was our hot topic today.

The thought of someone feeling bad because I said no to something is unbearable for me. As my T says though every time in these situations I say yes I say no to myself! It’s soooo hard to say no and not be crippled with guilt!!
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